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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I don't think you're a narcissist -- though in the spirit of the OP, I do think your posts can come off as a bit "me me me".

    It seems like you keep a lot of distance from people. Yes, you engage people a lot in forum discussion. But usually it seems like there's a huge interpersonal wall between you and them. Like, "I'm using you for this and have zero interest in engaging with you in any context except for this one. I'm getting entertainment and information from you, and nothing more." <-- Which may be why some people think you're a narcissist -- if you come across as using people for engaging in your personal topics, as opposed to having any interest in engaging with them on their terms. It's like "The DJ Arendee Show", and everyone's the audience, whether they want to be or not.

    I'd say this was 8-ish, except that I know 8s on this forum who show a lot more genuine interest in others.
    Good post, your perspective is interesting. I've actually thought about this before. "Are people bothered by the fact that I tend to only ask questions related to myself?" In a sense, I do use people to think for me. I don't know why this is, its just habit. Some people don't like it and think I'm seeking validation, others are more than happy to help me out.

    I'm just gonna be blunt here, I am cursed (or gifted?) with having very little interest in the lives of others, because my own life is something I find incredibly interesting in itself. I often ask for advice from others, and there are many people who do enjoy helping me out and offering assistance. I appreciate their help, and they're glad to be of help. I can certainly see how this could be viewed as "the dj arendee show" though.

    As far as connecting with others and putting up a wall, I very rarely connect with anyone. I actually can count the number of connections I've had with others on my fingers. I hate to quote theory directly, but the Sx instinctual description was right on the money when it said the only reason I become social is to find my soul mate. Once I find this person, I disappear from existence with them by my side. All popularity is ignored, etc.

    Oddly enough I feel the same way you feel toward me, toward anyone with Fi Ne Te and Si in their function preference. I feel like STJ's and NFP's sole purpose is to have everyone recognize their presence and get offended if you do not recognize their presence. I've had a lot of ESTJ's tell me I'm arrogant because I don't make eye contact with them. No where in the rule book does it say I need to make eye contact with anyone.

    I would first suspect my function preference is to blame. What you may view as "interpersonal communication" I may value as a waste of time in my search for Ti system building.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    You got style. Volatile and reactive like a good counter-phobic 6 (still don't think you're an E8). Acts first, thinks later. Your meme would be 'watch out guys, we're dealing with a badass over here'. You're pretty open to discussing your points of view, which is rare trait (I can't stand dogmatic people).
    I've been told that a lot. One of the descriptions I've read said that 8w7's are pretty rare. It wouldn't be much of a surprise to me if this is why I've been misunderstood so often. I've met another couple ESTP 8w7's who people accused of counterphobia. Add on top of that my Sp blindspot which makes me look unstable and you've got a nice CP6 lookalike.

    I've had to refrain from shouting things like, "WHOSE ASS DO I GET TO F***!?"

    Also PS: 8's are a part of the reactive triad. Unfortunately 8w9's are blessed with a 9 wing which makes them look unreactive.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    You seem a little full of yourself.
    I am #1 person to be underestimated. I've heard the words many times, "I was wrong about you" or "I underestimated you."

    Unfortunately when you you're cock of the rock around people who don't know you very well, it tends to garner a lot of testy behavior. Cuz no one actually believes I could be THAT confident.

    Believe me though, there are things I am very confident I suck at. And I have no problem admitting to those things. I know exactly what I can and can't do and make no effort to hide these things.

  4. #34
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Good post, your perspective is interesting. I've actually thought about this before. "Are people bothered by the fact that I tend to only ask questions related to myself?" In a sense, I do use people to think for me. I don't know why this is, its just habit. Some people don't like it and think I'm seeking validation, others are more than happy to help me out.

    I'm just gonna be blunt here, I am cursed (or gifted?) with having very little interest in the lives of others, because my own life is something I find incredibly interesting in itself. I often ask for advice from others, and there are many people who do enjoy helping me out and offering assistance. I appreciate their help, and they're glad to be of help. I can certainly see how this could be viewed as "the dj arendee show" though.

    As far as connecting with others and putting up a wall, I very rarely connect with anyone. I actually can count the number of connections I've had with others on my fingers. I hate to quote theory directly, but the Sx instinctual description was right on the money when it said the only reason I become social is to find my soul mate. Once I find this person, I disappear from existence with them by my side. All popularity is ignored, etc.

    ...

    I would first suspect my function preference is to blame. What you may view as "interpersonal communication" I may value as a waste of time in my search for Ti system building.
    The first bolded is so unusual, IME, that I don't think the second bolded holds water. I have friends who are Eights, friends who are ESTPs, friends who are sx/so, and friends who are variations of the above, that are completely the opposite of you in that regard, and are very interested in others.

    And now this revelation has intrigued me to the point that I have some questions for you:

    - How do you approach friendships? Do you give your friends anything in return for what they give you?
    - Do you care about anyone outside your inner circle?
    - Are you neurotypical? (Speaking without any emotional attachment or intent to offend, the first bolded in your post almost sounds like not just narcissism, but sociopathy.)
    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Oddly enough I feel the same way you feel toward me, toward anyone with Fi Ne Te and Si in their function preference. I feel like STJ's and NFP's sole purpose is to have everyone recognize their presence and get offended if you do not recognize their presence. I've had a lot of ESTJ's tell me I'm arrogant because I don't make eye contact with them. No where in the rule book does it say I need to make eye contact with anyone.
    1) I don't relate to an association between eye contact and arrogance. Dunno where those ESTJs got that.
    2) Do Fe-users not get offended if you don't recognize their presence? Or do they just hide it better? Generally speaking it's a human thing to want your ideas to be acknowledged.
    In my case, it bothers me more because I value reciprocity. That's the main reason why I posted here; I think you're interesting and have a lot to contribute, and early on in your time on the forum, I contributed to some of your topics -- and then I got nothing back. But I guess if you connect to almost no one, then that would explain it.
    3) You seem a helluva lot more sx/sp than sx/so... mostly because of this conversation, and also because I think that "distance"/"wall" that I was noticing initially strikes me as similar to the "push/pull" characteristic of that stacking.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #35
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I am #1 person to be underestimated. I've heard the words many times, "I was wrong about you" or "I underestimated you."

    Unfortunately when you you're cock of the rock around people who don't know you very well, it tends to garner a lot of testy behavior. Cuz no one actually believes I could be THAT confident.

    Believe me though, there are things I am very confident I suck at. And I have no problem admitting to those things. I know exactly what I can and can't do and make no effort to hide these things.
    Well you said 10 words or less and that is the first thing that came to mind. Being full of yourself and having others underestimate you seem a little different to me. It has to do with having an exaggerated sense of self importance which is also not quite the same as confidence either.

    Edit: These perceptions could be completely wrong by the way. It's an initial impression sort of thing.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  6. #36
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    I think you are brilliant at being socially acceptable.

    I think you are brilliant at knowing how you are perceived by others.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Well you said 10 words or less and that is the first thing that came to mind. Being full of yourself and having others underestimate you seem a little different to me. It has to do with having an exaggerated sense of self importance which is also not quite the same as confidence either.

    Edit: These perceptions could be completely wrong by the way. It's an initial impression sort of thing.
    hmm. Do you think I lack confidence? If so, what is it about my posts that suggest that?

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    The first bolded is so unusual, IME, that I don't think the second bolded holds water. I have friends who are Eights, friends who are ESTPs, friends who are sx/so, and friends who are variations of the above, that are completely the opposite of you in that regard, and are very interested in others.

    And now this revelation has intrigued me to the point that I have some questions for you:

    - How do you approach friendships? Do you give your friends anything in return for what they give you?
    - Do you care about anyone outside your inner circle?
    - Are you neurotypical? (Speaking without any emotional attachment or intent to offend, the first bolded in your post almost sounds like not just narcissism, but sociopathy.)

    1) I don't relate to an association between eye contact and arrogance. Dunno where those ESTJs got that.
    2) Do Fe-users not get offended if you don't recognize their presence? Or do they just hide it better? Generally speaking it's a human thing to want your ideas to be acknowledged.
    In my case, it bothers me more because I value reciprocity. That's the main reason why I posted here; I think you're interesting and have a lot to contribute, and early on in your time on the forum, I contributed to some of your topics -- and then I got nothing back. But I guess if you connect to almost no one, then that would explain it.
    3) You seem a helluva lot more sx/sp than sx/so... mostly because of this conversation, and also because I think that "distance"/"wall" that I was noticing initially strikes me as similar to the "push/pull" characteristic of that stacking.
    I think I'm exaggerating a bit here. I do find others interesting. I think I just try to say ridiculous things because I'm bored with talking about myself all day in this thread, and having fans ask me a bazillion questions about typology.

    I live with 2 professional breakdancers. We work at a night club. One of them is INTJ, the other is ENFJ. They're awesome. The ENFJ is one of the few people in life that I look up to. He has a fan base. Our life fucking rocks.

    I also have a following, albeit intangible and on the internet.

    I have another ESTP friend who is a genius at what he does in stock trading. I look up to him as well. I also look up to my few best friends who are scattered across the globe.

    We all look down on most of society. Why? Because most of society works a 9-5 job and hates what they do. Its sad, but we can't save them. So we do our best to pretend they don't exist.

    I rarely find anyone outside of my life and my inner circle interesting enough to speak to.

    What's that? You went to the bar last tuesday and you got drunk? THAT'S INCREDIBLE! /sarcasm

    I'm very much involved with other people. Usually women though. They're the only ones I feel like talking to and connecting with. The rest of society just isn't interesting to me. Its almost like its not even worth forming a connection with anyone other than women. I genuinely don't care about forming connections with men because I've already established my group of best friends. I don't really need anything more than that.

  9. #39
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    @EJCC

    See right there. You contributed to my posts and didn't get a response. This left you disappointed. This is what I'm talking about with ESTJ's getting upset when they're ignored. Its more or less the same situation but in a different form.

    If its any consolation, much of my understanding of E1's comes from you. So you DID actually contribute, I think I may have failed to let you know that though. But I do enjoy our discussions.

  10. #40
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    I need to take a break from the computer. I'm making myself crazy. I think at this point I'm just thinking out loud and need to find something productive to do. Catch ya'll later.

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