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  1. #91
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Wow this was a revealing post.

    I don't feel like its that difficult to notice how much I care about people. For a while the writing above my avatar was "I can't help everyone." There's a sort of superman dilemma I face every once in a while where people cling to me for help because I'm very satisfied with my life at the moment (well, relatively speaking) and they look to me to help fill that emotional hole. I say "superman dilemma" because I think in one of the remake movies he was floating high above the earth talking about how there is too much evil in the world and he can't help everyone all the time, even though he can hear them suffering constantly.

    So I have to consciously tell myself that I can't help them, and I have to kick them to the curb. There have been a lot of people who I had to remove from my life recently because they couldn't take care of themselves and they were dragging me down with them, emotionally. For a few years I felt as if I was dragging dozens of people by my ankles. I prided myself in my ability to help people, but it ultimately makes me miserable. So I've recently (about 5 months ago) adopted a zero tolerance policy for those with low self esteem.

    In fact part of my issue in relationships is that I search for someone who is strong and independant, because if she can't take care of herself, I start worrying about her well being. The ISFP I dated last was pretty awesome because anytime I offered her help she'd refuse it and tell me she didn't need my help which I actually found quite liberating.
    I think this is where that "wall" comes in, that I was talking about, and that someone else reiterated later in the thread. You'll seem like you care, you'll have user titles like that, but then your conversation will appear self-serving and you won't connect that much with the people who you were trying to help.

    If the post above, that I just quoted, is true, then there's something image-related that's standing between that and the Fi-users you keep talking about, that makes them think you're a narcissist. Maybe it's being flamboyant, dramatic, or what have you -- but it seems to give the complete opposite message of the above quote.

    Maybe non-Fi-users are better at seeing through the image and getting to the real you, and your true motivations. :/
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    I feel like you've gained a level of infamy that has seemed to progress like a domino effect, likely starting from a few peoples' impressions of you. Then you began to serve as a popular scapegoat for self-absorbed behavior that is actually, more or less, ubiquitous on this website.
    I didn't want to say anything, haha.

    At one point when I was angry in the military I made a facebook status that said, "Humility is what the weak cry out to the strong."

    This isn't the most ACCURATE statement, but I still believe its accurate in many instances.

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I think this is where that "wall" comes in, that I was talking about, and that someone else reiterated later in the thread. You'll seem like you care, you'll have user titles like that, but then your conversation will appear self-serving and you won't connect that much with the people who you were trying to help.

    If the post above, that I just quoted, is true, then there's something image-related that's standing between that and the Fi-users you keep talking about, that makes them think you're a narcissist. Maybe it's being flamboyant, dramatic, or what have you -- but it seems to give the complete opposite message of the above quote.

    Maybe non-Fi-users are better at seeing through the image and getting to the real you, and your true motivations. :/
    Eh... from my perspective, that certainly seems like the case, but I think it has more to do with function layout, what one person searches for depth, another searches for superficiality (Fe vs Fi) and its this reason ENFJ's have MANY MANY friends but are lonely, while INFP's are content having 1 really close friend. I've said this before but I feel like I could have written the iron giant myself, but more importantly, the theme that he is misunderstood and attacked for it, but gets angry only in self defense. Those who don't understand me, attack me. Those who do, love me.

    I think its important to note, that the only time I get aggressive and retaliate on this forum is when someone makes a presumptuous and ill informed comment on my "lack of character". I also feel like many people here are aware of this. So my ignore list is steadily increasing in size.


  4. #94
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    What's also important to note is how socionics lists Fi polr's as often viewed by Fi ego's as untrustworthy.

    I think if everyone here read my book they would see just how emotionally intense I actually am, and unfortunately, most never get to see this. Only that handful of people actually have.

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I didn't want to say anything, haha.

    At one point when I was angry in the military I made a facebook status that said, "Humility is what the weak cry out to the strong."

    This isn't the most ACCURATE statement, but I still believe its accurate in many instances.
    I think that you like to make sweeping statements as hard and fast rules, not only in the example you just noted, but through typology, to emphasize implicit messages that are more culturally relevant than anything (and you know it). Like you're just trying to connect with people so you hop on as many bandwagons as possible to ensure those connections are made with like-minded individuals, but it seems so centered around your connection to the bandwagon that it also divorces you from people. So the cycle continues because you want to rationalize the cycle through another bandwagon (like your beliefs about the nature of the military). Overall, the whole process lacks an element of deliberate compartmentalization of the real people in your life, which has probably caused to you be dragged down by others as you have mentioned.

  6. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    I think that you like to make sweeping statements as hard and fast rules, not only in the example you just noted, but through typology, to emphasize implicit messages that are more culturally relevant than anything (and you know it). Like you're just trying to connect with people so you hop on as many bandwagons as possible to ensure those connections are made with like-minded individuals, but it seems so centered around your connection to the bandwagon that it also divorces you from people. So the cycle continues because you want to rationalize the cycle through another bandwagon (like your beliefs about the nature of the military). Overall, the whole process lacks an element of deliberate compartmentalization of the real people in your life, which has probably caused to you be dragged down by others as you have mentioned.
    This sounds like a difference in Fi and Fe.

    As far as "bandwagons" go, I seek more Fe in my life. Its my primary goal to be accepted, as I feel like a lone wanderer most of my life.

    So yes, I suppose hopping on a bandwagon could be a way of putting it.

    An analogy is like, I'm a lone beggar on the street, and someone welcomes me into a dance club and gives me free drinks and starts introducing me to all the people as if I'm a normal person. Fe doms actually enjoy GIVING this sort of attention to personalities such as mine.

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    This sounds like a difference in Fi and Fe.

  8. #98
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    sry I keep editing my posts so you'll have to read what I added

  9. #99
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    sry I keep editing my posts so you'll have to read what I added
    Should I interpret your beggar analogy as an admission of humility?

  10. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Should I interpret your beggar analogy as an admission of humility?
    don't look a gift horse in the mouth

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