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  1. #1
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Default Top Ten Reasons Why the Pope Handed in His Three-Week Notice

    1. Got a less taxing career taking over Mike Rowe's spot hosting "Dirty Jobs."

    2. Got tired of bumping his hat off every time he climbed into a confessional.

    3. That "pope on a rope" joke left him with a bad case of PTSD.

    4. Still ticked that the Boy Scouts might have caved...

    5. Met this hot nun at the Vatican; got a double date with Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle in a Paris coffeeshop.

    6. Feeling unloved; taking a holiday; letting Heat Miser and Cold Miser battle it out for earth's dominion.

    7. Decided he should have stayed a farmer, like Pa Kent.

    8. Embarrassed over the papers scandal -- "the butler did it" and he never caught on.

    9. Joining Arnold and Sly in the cast for "Expendables 4: Weapons of Mass [Destruction]."

    10. An aide found Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young" on his iPod Nano.



    (c) Jennifer. tankya. Tankyabeddymuch.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #2
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Number 2 is my favorite. So simple but hilarious!
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  3. #3
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    I have heard that he is resigning because he can no longer "perform his duties." He is actually referring to the onset of erectile dysfunction; at his ripe old age he can no longer adequately rape his collection of little boys... I mean his circle of underlings.

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    welllll THAT really blew the mood!
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    1. maybe involved in a paedophilia scandal

    2. maybe involved in a financial scandal

    3. tired of low popularity connected to his past (unlikely)

    4. has been diagnosed a deadly disease

    5. some say it is connected to the italian elections (24-25 february) ...i don't see how this is possible

    6. maybe he's just tired -> however, this is highly unlikely, since the last pope to quit has 600 years ago (and he had a good reason)

    7. he's in love -> but how can be have sex? -> oh, there's viagra now. so maybe...

    8. maybe he got drunk (like, for the first time), and this happened

    9. maybe someone hacked his twitter account.....like, one of the vatican cardinals who wants to become a pope

  6. #6
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    and here I'd thought that it was because wearing a dress all of the time was starting to lead to some confusing feelings!

    the bumping the hat thing definitely made me laugh
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #7
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    welllll THAT really blew the mood!
    No offense, but, while not really funny, it was still slightly funnier than your reasons.

  8. #8
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    After a lot of introspection, in a rare moment of intellectual honesty, he decided that he can't be so sure about whether God exists or not.

    Then, he became an agnostic.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    No offense, but, while not really funny, it was still slightly funnier than your reasons.
    The "Catholic pedophile" hand seems to have been overplayed on this forum, sorry....
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    welllll THAT really blew the mood!
    That's just how I roll I'm afraid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    No offense, but, while not really funny, it was still slightly funnier than your reasons.
    My answer was 100% fact. If I start twisting the tale for comical effect I end up with a piece of slanderous fiction.

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