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Thread: Worst question.

  1. #41
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Hmmm, this is an interesting to me.

    I often hear people on the forum say that they don't like to socialize with people much because topics tend to be too superficial.

    I'm wondering if this is so, how do you expect people to move into "deeper" topics (whatever those are) without first going into the "less deep" topics? Is it the fact that people ask personal questions (which I think can be quite "deep") rather than impersonal questions? Are people looking for particular questions that are "deeper" than others, like topical conversations (art, science, film, etc)?

    I guess it's the way the topic comes up in the first place. For example, I'd rather have someone say "are you going to have kids?" vs. "why aren't you going to have kids?/why haven't you had kids yet?" I can see how a conversation about one's choice in the matter could segue into a "deeper" conversation.

    What is safe to ask that's not too personal and yet satisfies a lack of superficiality? Some questions are rote and basic, but if you don't get those pesky little facts about the person out of the way, how does one move onto more satisfying conversation? If I don't ask, "so what are your hobbies?" how will I know that we both have an avid interest in OPI nail polishes?!
    I think that the asking about having kids, even just as 'are you going to have kids' is horribly intrusive because there can be so much pain and anguish behind the answer - miscarriages, wanting to have kids but not being able to (for any variety of physical or psychological reasons) and all the grief that gets tied up with that. It's not uncommon but not many people talk about it.

    That's why I don't mind if someone I'm close to and knows a bit about my history asks that question. It's people I barely know that I wish would just steer clear of that question - and not just for me, I don't think anyone should be asked that question as part of 'making conversation'.

    There are other topics that I hate being asked about, but I know they're unique to me and that others can't be expected to know. But the 'are you going to have kids' - if you think about it and have compassion for others - there is no reason to ask it as part of casual conversation.
    Last edited by bluebell; 05-20-2008 at 03:15 AM. Reason: badly worded
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Anonymous's Avatar
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    Oh, and this thread reminded me about another question I hate. "What music do you like?" Just because I like so many different kinds of songs, have difficulty remembering the names of the songs and especially the bands, and generally have no fucking clue what the genre is unless it's hugely obvious.

  3. #43
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    I think that the asking about having kids, even just as 'are you going to have kids' is horribly intrusive because there can be so much pain and anguish behind the answer - miscarriages, wanting to have kids but not being able to (for any variety of physical or psychological reasons) and all the grief that gets tied up with that. It's not uncommon but not many people talk about it.

    That's why I don't mind if someone I'm close to and knows a bit about my history asks that question. It's people I barely know that I wish would just steer clear of that question - and not just for me, I don't think anyone should be asked that question as part of 'making conversation'.

    There are other topics that I hate being asked about, but I know they're unique to me and that others can't be expected to know. But the 'are you going to have kids' - if you think about it and have compassion for others - there is no reason to ask it as part of casual conversation.
    Good point. That's not casual conversation material. However, two good friends can and probably will have that talk. Many things can be discussed in an intimate conversation that would be intrusive under other circumstances.

    Have you lost weight? Have you gained weight? Are you pregnant? All of these are intrusive. Older relatives seem to be especially prone to asking those questions. It's what they ask instead of What are you reading these days or What music do you like?

    Jae Rae
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  4. #44
    you are right mippus's Avatar
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    "Don't you notice anything special about me?"

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  5. #45
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Will you do me a favor?

    followed by a long pause, as if I'm going to answer that question before you tell me what the favor is
    simple. Just say "depends on what the favor is"
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #46
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oso Mocoso View Post
    OH MY GOD? You get that too? People ask me that all the time! It's really awkward when I am trying to get some reading done in the library.
    I just like women's underwear is all.


  7. #47
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    There needs to be a pocket sized version for taking to work and family events. I admit, I have a sister-in-law I would very much enjoy seeing go head to head with Edahn.
    Ahem. . .

    If I had a nickel for every time a woman asked me if I'd come in her pocket, I'd be a really dirty pervert.

  8. #48
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    I beat all of you.

    "Whatchou talkin'bout willis?"
    we fukin won boys

  9. #49
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Will you do me a favor?
    Well? will you?! *checks watch* C'MON!! lol



    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    There needs to be a pocket sized version for taking to work and family events. I admit, I have a sister-in-law I would very much enjoy seeing go head to head with Edahn.
    I sense a successful capitalistic idea. PocketEdahn, The Self-Defense Device: Filibuster-logic your enemies to death or your money back!

    Feel the love? Yeah. Me too.



    Quote Originally Posted by Nocapszy View Post
    I beat all of you.

    "Whatchou talkin'bout willis?"
    LOL!
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  10. #50
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Well, I hate all questions because I hate answering them. If I want you to know something, then I'll tell you. Naturally, I'm not a very pleasant conversationalist.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

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