I can't really spill any of my real thoughts and everything with most people (except on the internet) because I don't relate to my peers at all. I feel really sad and isolated and lonely because of it... I don't really ever have good conversations so a lot of people seem to think I'm sort of clown or moron or whatever, and it's frustrating because I feel like the opposite. I've even had people tell me I constantly talk and ramble, which is bizarre because I really can't stand talking to people and get overwhelmed if I talk to someone for more than five minutes. All my opinions, all my thoughts and dreams and ideas are all hidden, and I don't know if I would trust saying them to anyone (although theres no "logical" reason I shouldn't trust them). My emotions are hidden, but this is also largely for my sake because I have a lot of emotions so to start talking about them... they just flood out, it's overwhelming to me and anyone around me. I feel exactly like Don Quixote; to many I seem to come off as insane and idiotic, but once in a while when I speak my true mind I have a lot of good stuff to say that is surprisingly intelligent and insightful. I love that book, and I tell people I wish understood me or knew me better to read it and promise that if they read it and get my point they'll understand me better (but when they hear it's like 1000 pages long they're like "uh...no" )
By the way, Heart and Dana, you really put me at ease with what you said, I have to thank you. I was really uneven after coming home from school today, but knowing you have some of the same experiences puts me at ease.
I hide my musical tastes sometimes (although I'm very vocal about some other stuff). I love bluegrass and old school country music, which is a joke to most high school kids. I also think rap is a powerful, beautiful, and intelligent form of music that everyone would do well to appreciate on some degree (that is, the message a lot of the intelligent rap artists express), but many people consider it brainless. Other than that, I'm very vocal about what music I like, and how much I like it. People don't know that I have a notebook full of pop songs I dissect (everything from Bob Dylan to Weezer ), but I don't think I'd mind telling people that.
I sometimes dig up information from past games I've played to remind me of how much fun I had or could have again e.g. Planescape Torment, Baldur's Gate 2, Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, Fallout, Everquest
I may be bested in battle, but I shall never be defeated.