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  1. #21

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    I hide things that I feel strongly about when it's a topic that most people feel is frivolous, or not worthy of strong feelings either way. For instance, I love the medium of television because it's one of the last examples we have of a public meeting place, a shared experience. And that aspect of it is going away because we now have hundreds of channels instead of four or five. I also like Def Leppard, Taco Bell and Hugh Grant without irony.

    I also hide complicated opinions on polarizing topics because I don't want to be lumped in with either side. This pops up mostly in politics and religion, of course. Living in Los Angeles and working in the entertainment industry, I hide my politics because saying you're a centrist is tantamount to admitting that you spend your weekends preventing black people from voting, discrediting evolution, and tongue-kissing Rush Limbaugh. I keep my religious opinions to myself a lot too. They make my family think I'm going to hell because I don't believe all the dogma, and they make atheists think I'm some Bible-thumper because I have the temerity to think God is plausible. You can't win with politics or religion.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  2. #22
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Most of the time, I just hide my vocal chords.
    Not really.

  3. #23
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    ...Yesterday I was chagrined to find that a friend left a phone message canceling a walk 5 mins. after I'd had a discussion with myself how she might do it. I emailed her saying I'd had a feeling she was going to leave just such a message. She wrote back saying something about "great minds." To me it wasn't a matter of great minds, but: 1) feeling disappointed that she canceled our walk which I was looking forward to; 2) feeling enough hesitation from her the last time I saw her to suppose it was a possibility. I said nothing about my disappointment and instead wished her a Happy Mother's Day and good luck with the paper she said she had to write.
    Yes, that's exactly the sort of low-key disappointment I'm talking about.

    I don't tell people often about it, either, because I don't want them to feel weird around me or worry too much about my feelings. It's just something for me to deal with and not burden others with.

    I can't tell if other people have the same disappointments but they don't register as much as they do with me; with me, it's more intense than what I think it should be from an intellectual standpoint. I don't know why the feelings can sting so much. (I mean, it's just a walk, right? Or whatever...)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    This sounds a lot like me, but for the Christian contemporary music part. It kind of makes my teeth itch.
    Sorry, this thread DOES have some ugly secrets.

    *puts paper bag over head*

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Actually, I am a closet mystic. For instance, I walk along the Autumn creek saying to myself over and over, "Joy and sharing joy". And lo and behold I start to experience joy and see joy around me and look for joy in others.

    "In the beginning", they say, "was the word".

    And the word was joy.
    ha, very cool. So would you say you don't share much of that with others because you fear it might taint your appearance of being intellectual? (just curious. I know I did that a lot in the past.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #24
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    I haven't come out to my family as bisexual. I'm afraid even though they probably wouldn't care either way. I sometimes think (or hope) it might just be a passing phase in my life and I'll find the right girl and go off to start a family. However, I have only dated one girl throughout my entire life and I've never slept with one. I'm afraid if people knew that, they would think I am gay. I don't know why I'm afraid of people thinking of me as gay.

    I used to be a libertarian. (but don't tell pure_mercury that) My ideal political ideology is libertarian socialism. I'm really just anti-capitalistic, largely because I was raised in a dirt poor family by an overworked single mother.

    I'm still very much a Christian. (but very much anti organized religion)

    I vowed celibacy about 8 months ago. I'm paranoid about STDs. I also hate dating in the gay community because it's usually all about sex. The decent gay guys who want a relationship always seem to already be in one. I'm also ashamed of most of my sexual fantasies.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  5. #25
    seor member colmena's Avatar
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    Not really a lot now. I don't tell people that I'm unemployed and that I spend all my time on my own. I don't tell people how I've thrown a couple of wobblies in the last few years. I'm not quick to disclose my love of romantic drama films, Jane Austen novels and high-brow culture (perhaps because I'm not competent enough to discuss them). I play electric bass, but would really rather play cello.

    At 12/13 I was very serious about Buddhism and kept it to myself. At 15\16 I liked to listen to Gregorian chant and ghazal whilst my friends were listening to the Kinks. Having said that, my best friend used to give me stick for listening to Fairport Convention.

    I don't think I love anyone, in any way. Even the people that have taken the time to get to know me.

    I hate my mother and grandmother, and have no respect for my father.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  6. #26
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    I hide hurt feelings, and also I hide my occasional disdain for other peoples' intelligence. I hide this because it's straight out tactless to call someone out on their stupidity.

  7. #27
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spirilis View Post
    I hide this because it's straight out tactless to call someone out on their stupidity.
    Now if only I could learn to do that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  8. #28
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yes, that's exactly the sort of low-key disappointment I'm talking about.

    I don't tell people often about it, either, because I don't want them to feel weird around me or worry too much about my feelings. It's just something for me to deal with and not burden others with.

    I can't tell if other people have the same disappointments but they don't register as much as they do with me; with me, it's more intense than what I think it should be from an intellectual standpoint. I don't know why the feelings can sting so much. (I mean, it's just a walk, right? Or whatever...)
    Well, it wasn't just a walk, it was a talk with a friend I value. She gets busy and overwhelmed sometimes; the last time I saw her she said as an example of something that she had a lot of things to do but still wanted to walk. As far as I know, I'm the only one with whom she walks, so my ears perked up.

    As I see it, there are two issues: the disappointment and saying something about it. It's not that big a deal, so why can't I just say "Oh, that's too bad, I was looking forward to seeing you?"

    Jae Rae
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  9. #29
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    Well, it wasn't just a walk, it was a talk with a friend I value. She gets busy and overwhelmed sometimes; the last time I saw her she said as an example of something that she had a lot of things to do but still wanted to walk. As far as I know, I'm the only one with whom she walks, so my ears perked up.
    Being included in someone's spontaneous plans tells us that we're important to them, I think -- just that we are part of the fabric of their lives.

    As I see it, there are two issues: the disappointment and saying something about it. It's not that big a deal, so why can't I just say "Oh, that's too bad, I was looking forward to seeing you?"
    Sigh. Yes, that's a good point. And I think it would be the BEST response. Just to let THEM know that they mattered to you and you'll miss not having them there.

    I don't know why it's so hard, although we could probably come up with some ideas.

    ...btw, I do not meant to be ignoring the other posts here, I appreciate hearing what people are sharing.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #30
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    As I see it, there are two issues: the disappointment and saying something about it. It's not that big a deal, so why can't I just say "Oh, that's too bad, I was looking forward to seeing you?"
    I know this feeling. It may have something to do with not wanting to seem as invested and fond of the relationship as you really are. It may have something to do with wanting to see more tangible signs that she enjoys your company as much as you enjoy hers before showing her your "vulnerability" in regard to her -- the "if you jump, I'll jump" dynamic of relationships. I think showing how much we like someone without knowing whether they like us as strongly in return makes us feel bare and vulnerable. Maybe she's playing the same game and you just don't know it. Maybe telling her the truth makes you less vulnerable than you fear.
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

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