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Thread: Tell Us Yr Best Joke

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default Tell Us Yr Best Joke


    I’m board, and thought maybe a joke thread would be good.

    So I’ll start with a joke I know,

    A man goes into a pub and there is a horse stood in the corner and on the bar is a huge jar full of pound coins. A label on the jar reads " Whom ever makes the horse laugh will win all the money in the jar, £1 a go".
    The man puts a pound in the jar and walks over to the horse and whispers in its ear, next thing you know the horse is rolling on the floor laughing. The man walks up and takes the jar home.

    A few weeks later the same man goes in to the pub again, this time the label on the jar reads "Whom ever makes the horse Cry will win all the money in the jar, £1 a go". He puts his pound in the jar and walks over to the horse, they then leave for the men’s room together. A few moments later they come back in and the horse is sobbing uncontrollably.
    The man walks up to the bar and takes his money. The bar tender that had witnessed both incidents said
    "Here mate I have to ask, what did you tell him to make him laugh?"
    The man looks at him and replies
    " I told him my willy was bigger than his"
    " Oh" said the bartender. " So how'd you make him cry then?"
    "That was easy, I showed him"

  2. #2
    perdu fleur par bologne Array Martoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    Somehow I can never remember the best jokes I know, only the worst. So you'll have to settle for that.

    A guy stumbles home from the bar one night, barely managing to keep his feet. He enters his apartment building, and begins laboriously working his way up the stairs to his apartment. An alligator at the bottom of the stairs yells up at him, "DRUNK!" The man just glares at the alligator, then continues to his apartment.

    The next night, he's stumbling up the stairs again, and again this alligator yells, "DRUNK!" The man turns around and slurs, "Ssshut up, you!", and continues up the stairs.

    The next night, it happens again; "DRUNK!" The man turns to face the alligator, and says, "If you say that one more time, I'm a gonna come down there, reach down your throat, grab your tail, and turn you inside out!" He glares at the alligator, as if daring him. The alligator immediately replies, "DRUNK!" The man storms down the stairs, reaches down the gator's throat, grabs his tail, and turns him inside out. Satisfied, he begins his trek back up the stairs.

    The alligator, undeterred, yells after him, "KNURD!"

    (I am so, so sorry.)
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Mar 2008


    LOL, I like that one!

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