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Thread: Why do I always

  1. #31
    Procrastinating
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    You're going to have to elaborate. I prefer to be around people who get to the point quickly so spitting it out is much appreciated by me. Could you please spit out exactly what you mean in reference to my helping you quickly and efficiently? ;P

    If we're right then everyone else must be wrong. hehe
    INTP opportunity knocks!

    Well, I don't think you did it quickly... but, certainly, efficiently.

    You were trying to help me with my thick headedness on why I ticked ISTJs off so much. I was quite mystified by their reactions to my words... bottom line... big communications problems. I gave an example and you, finally, hit me with a bat, squarely, between the eyes... words to the effect "You didn't tell them they were wrong did you? For shame! That's just not done!" That helped to clear up other areas with not only that type irl for me. Don't ask me why I never thought of it. I told you, then, that I just had always expected a rational response instead of "you, good for nothing, biatch." Very enlightening indeed.

  2. #32
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    Jen... I'm so sorry. Xander just started a thread.. INTP 2 INTP and I've discovered it was him.
    Sorry for the confusion.

  3. #33
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Maybe your impression that some people don't like you is simply correct? Here are some common reasons I've found that people don't like me:

    1. They just don't. Some people have such vastly different perspectives, values, or interests that run counter to mine. In this case, I generally don't care if they like me anyway.

    2. They don't know me. This is typical for an introvert. This is a situation I can change by opening up to people more.

    Being noticeably concerned about someone liking you is a sure way to scare them off.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Being noticeably concerned about someone liking you is a sure way to scare them off.

    Why?

  5. #35
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Being overly-concerned with whether someone likes you or not usually gives an impression of dependency, lack of confidence and low self-esteem.

    Edit: I'm not trying to imply that those who are concerned with someone liking them have these issues, only that many perceive these as potential issues in this situation.

  6. #36
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    JAVO I think you're giving people way too much credit. I honestly think if someone doesn't like you it's because they just don't get you. There are also people who I don't much care for that could ask the same question in reference to me.

    Anyway, I like you. You are different to me but seem to accept people for who they are and that's alright in my book.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Being overly-concerned with whether someone likes you or not usually gives an impression of dependency, lack of confidence and low self-esteem.
    Oh my... thanks... I'll keep that in mind.

  8. #38
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Being overly-concerned with whether someone likes you or not usually gives an impression of dependency, lack of confidence and low self-esteem.

    Edit: I'm not trying to imply that those who are concerned with someone liking them has these issues, only that many perceive these as potential issues in this situation.
    haha Good thing my husband didn't notice when we first met. I'm not a needy person. I am quite independent but sometimes can be insecure within myself. I think all people have these feelings don't they? I would say that if you are that confident and cocky (ha) then never fear, because one day the time will come where you'll be knocked down a peg or two and brought straight down to earth, the place where I sometimes live.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    haha Good thing my husband didn't notice when we first met. I'm not a needy person. I am quite independent but sometimes can be insecure within myself. I think all people have these feelings don't they? I would say that if you are that confident and cocky (ha) then never fear, because one day the time will come where you'll be knocked down a peg or two and brought straight down to earth, the place where I sometimes live.
    Agreed. I am ultra independent but I do think I come across as being concerned with others liking me (I'm really going to give this serious thought) because I'm sooo "I" and the only social graces I know I've learned from observation but have instituted them rather poorly... I do "mirror" when in doubt and, now thinking about it, probably do appear needy. Geez... I'm scarin people when I was trying to make them more comfortable around the weirdo that I am.... go figure. Enlightening!

  10. #40
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    JAVO I think you're giving people way too much credit. I honestly think if someone doesn't like you it's because they just don't get you. There are also people who I don't much care for that could ask the same question in reference to me.
    Exactly--that's what I was trying to communicate in point 1. Each situation is different, and I think we're trying to make things too black and white. So stop your J shenanigans.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Anyway, I like you. You are different to me but seem to accept people for who they are and that's alright in my book.
    Thanks, I like you too. Other than slight T/F differences, I actually perceive you as more similar to me than different. I would actually be interested in hearing why you perceive me as different just as an interesting exercise in learning how others perceive me. (If you do this, feel free to post this here, my personal thread, or by PM.)

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