I preach now unto thee, the wisdom bestowed unto me through hard work and turmoil.
Commandment 1: Instant coffee tastes worse than water, no matter what you spike it with.
Commandment 2. Never buy nails, wait it out until someone else does then mooch it up.
Commandment 3. Smiling will ease your nerves, and is just nice in every way. Do it.
Now children of these blessed halls, bless us with your wisdom!