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  1. #31
    Senior Member Crabapple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I didn't see anyone imply that. I saw meshou share her mom's story. I'm pretty sure she would've just come right out and said it if that's what she meant.

    Babies didn't make my mother happy, either. She was a great mom, but she was depressed and thought each child would be the one to make her happy. To her credit, she never punished us for not making her happy, but we were well aware of her depression, which was sometimes pretty crippling. Now, I'm not in any way saying that this will happen to CTG and I'm not implying that she's like my mom, but I am saying that babies don't fix problems that were already there before you had them.
    True, true. Children aren't fixes.

    I worked for a while as a nanny and in a pre-school; I think I was just getting steamed at what I percieved, perhaps wrongly, as ...ah, I better shut up.

    I just get a big kick outta kids. They're usually cool people. Mebbe the Gods will yet send me one.
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
    -- Unknown

  2. #32
    Senior Member meshou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crabapple View Post
    But how does that compare to implying that CTG is psychotic for thinking kids would give her happiness?
    I implied no such thing. My mother litterally had a psychotic break. Because of my mother's history, I myself am wary of getting pregnant.

    CTG has alluded to her own struggles with mental health. I would advise anyone with a personal or family history of mental health issues to be extremely careful with the chemical changes that come with pregnancy, and anyone regardless of that type of history to do soul searching on why they want children before having them.
    Let's do this thing.

  3. #33
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    yeah i take it as no offense and admit that i have mental issues (depression, mood swings) but i'm medicated for it. i don't know how that will effect pregnancy... but i do know that i will probably pass depression and mood swings on to my children =\

  4. #34
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cut the grass View Post
    yeah i take it as no offense and admit that i have mental issues (depression, mood swings) but i'm medicated for it. i don't know how that will effect pregnancy... but i do know that i will probably pass depression and mood swings on to my children =\
    At least you have plenty of pretty to pass onto them.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #35
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    hahahaa cafe i mistook your sentence for "at least you have plenty to pass onto them" and i was like hey!!! i'm not that mental. lol

    thanks

  6. #36
    Senior Member meshou's Avatar
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    As an aside:

    I was on a great many pills which were of little help in the past. My own moodiness and depression has all but disappeared since I started on the patch and three days of prozac before I start my no-patch week. I'm hoping a decade or so of BC will guard against a repeat of my mother's transformation from "a little moody" to "OMG FUCKIN NUTS" if I do decide to have a child.

    Anyone with similar problems and little success with traditional psych meds may find BC has similar benefits for them.
    Let's do this thing.

  7. #37
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cut the grass View Post
    hahahaa cafe i mistook your sentence for "at least you have plenty to pass onto them" and i was like hey!!! i'm not that mental. lol

    thanks
    I wouldn't dream of saying that. My husband and I both have our struggles with depression, but we had had all of our kids before we really realized what was going on with us or it occurred to us to seek treatment. Our third and fourth children also have autism. The fourth was on the way before the third's autism became detectable via speech delay. Thinking about it now, both I and especially my husband, have several autistic traits. I also have several of crazies in my family tree, but most people have a few. We just do the best we can, try to be aware of and deal with whatever problems that crop up and keep going. That's kind of what you have to do with life, IMO.

    My mother had me because she wanted someone to love her. She is probably mentally ill, but has never gotten treatment. Despite that, I had a pretty happy childhood and am certainly happy to have been born. I don't have a relationship with her now because her illness has gotten progressively worse and her current boyfriend scares me, but you, at least, are getting treatment and your education. Do your research as far as medications and hormones and stuff, and make the best decisions you can. No one can do more than that.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #38
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    yeah my father and i have traits of high functioning autism. aww.. yeah i have a mentally unstable cousin... he won't take medication and you can't reach him at all. it's sad and frustrating. thank you for the words of advice, cafe. i will.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Crabapple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meshou
    I implied no such thing. My mother litterally had a psychotic break. Because of my mother's history, I myself am wary of getting pregnant.

    CTG has alluded to her own struggles with mental health. I would advise anyone with a personal or family history of mental health issues to be extremely careful with the chemical changes that come with pregnancy, and anyone regardless of that type of history to do soul searching on why they want children before having them.
    I'm sorry if I angered you, Meshou; I didn't mean to. I think we misunderstand each other. I flared up because there are a great many issues I'm dealing with, and amongst them are my mental/physical health /drug/alcohol history, and how these have effected my fertility. And even whether I should even try. I agree with you that anyone with mental health issues should be careful before they decide to have a child. Thoughtful.

    As for the inference, I wasn't referring to you, Meshou: I was talking about W. I probably should have quoted him in my post. His quote is below:

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Are you sure you're not this other girl I know? Really. She's on heavy psych meds she hates to take, wants tons of children, has a similar 'personality', similar spelling and capitalization problems, similar writing style, up all night, on the internet all the time, under 18 and somehow not in school (she is a high school semi-dropout with no interest in finishing (will turn 18 before graduating, and plans to quit then and take off with one of the many random guys she knows online), not sure about you), and the list goes on and on.
    I just he was being insulting and stigmatising, and that he somehow had it out for CTG anyway.



    My husband and I both have our struggles with depression, but we had had all of our kids before we really realized what was going on with us or it occurred to us to seek treatment. Our third and fourth children also have autism. The fourth was on the way before the third's autism became detectable via speech delay. Thinking about it now, both I and especially my husband, have several autistic traits. I also have several of crazies in my family tree, but most people have a few. We just do the best we can, try to be aware of and deal with whatever problems that crop up and keep going. That's kind of what you have to do with life, IMO.

    My mother had me because she wanted someone to love her. She is probably mentally ill, but has never gotten treatment. Despite that, I had a pretty happy childhood and am certainly happy to have been born. I don't have a relationship with her now because her illness has gotten progressively worse and her current boyfriend scares me, but you, at least, are getting treatment and your education. Do your research as far as medications and hormones and stuff, and make the best decisions you can. No one can do more than that.
    No disrespect to your mother- but it's surprising how many people think that. Wanting someone to love you is a problematic reason to have a child. I would do it because I want to give love. Not that I knew that when I was young and ripe.

    As for the autism, my (good and wise) psychiatrist told me: "You have autism; and you have ADHD, but not really (This after 10+ hours of psychological testing. I'm still not entirely sure what he meant. I'm atypical?) What I have is a sort of (what used to be called) minimal brain damage that makes it difficult for me to recognise facial expressions, interpret things correctly (social blindness plus other stuff). It's not so bad. It was terrible when I was a kid, but the brain continues to learn, y'know.
    That in addition to major depression, chronic PTSD, etc., etc.

    Anyway, I wouldn't have mentioned all this except people divulged their issues. How did we get from happiness and children to here?
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
    -- Unknown

  10. #40
    Senior Member Alienclock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    At least you have plenty of pretty to pass onto them.
    Quote Originally Posted by cut the grass View Post
    hahahaa cafe i mistook your sentence for "at least you have plenty to pass onto them" and i was like hey!!! i'm not that mental. lol

    thanks
    OMG! cafe you so freaked me out with that one too. I took your words wrong also.

    This is a serious subject, so I am going to be non jokey...
    Genetic diversity does often create differences in people, but to exclude certain people from the gene pool because of certain unwanted traits is kinda throwing the baby out with the bathwater. All people have contributions, Stephen Hawkins does contribute, and hes sorta got issues... also, autistic people sometimes have "gifts". Also geniuses, being genetically smarter, and genetically further from the norm can exhibit certain other sometimes unwanted characteristics...

    Now on to the jokey-ness...
    Personally I like the x-men. If people with genetic differences did not reproduce how will we ever expect to get real life x-men? The future is NOW.
    Except I think average people who tend to be mean should not have children, because I personally don't like people who are mean and extremely normal. BLAH.

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