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  1. #11
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    It is possible to have children and wish you hadn't. It's also possible to love your kids madly and still be unhappy in a general sense, or love them and feel trapped by being a parent, etc. Children do not guarantee happiness, not by any stretch of the imagination. They're not band-aids.

  2. #12
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alienclock View Post
    I think that my life would be more idyllic if I get more exposure to butterflies. I also think that you would be happier if you had visited a garden today where there were butterflies present.

    Mmmmm. Butterflies.

    Yes, they are very tasty!
    (except for the mushy parts)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    It's also possible to love your kids madly and still be unhappy in a general sense, or love them and feel trapped by being a parent, etc.
    Yeah. That's me. I love my kids and think they are fabulous people and could never say I didn't wish they were born. On one level, I am very glad I am a parent and that I am the parent of these particular kids, and vice versa.

    But I am still unhappy with many of the ways being a parent has caused complications in my life or made other personal issues nearly impossible to resolve, and I'm still trying to figure out how to reconcile them all. I go through long depressive periods, trying to resolve these things. I want the best for them, and yet I also want my life to not feel so miserable the majority of the time.

    So I think experiences and internal feelings range all over the map with this, even with and for people who generally would be considered "good parents."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #13
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    I had posts moved by the mods for the very first time I think!!!
    I also think that you would be happier if you had visited a garden today where there were butterflies present.
    *you could be right about that*
    Children do not guarantee happiness, not by any stretch of the imagination. They're not band-aids.
    I got a call yesterday from the principal regarding one of my lovely children. I was not happy at all to put it mildly :steam:!
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  4. #14
    respect the brick C.J.Woolf's Avatar
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    I'd love to see a pissed-off parent's reaction if the kid tried using the line "But I bring you happiness!" Hee.

  5. #15
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I wanted six kids until I had my first. It was way more work and way less fun than I had anticipated, so we decided to only have four. I love them very much and can't imagine my life without them, but along with the happiness, they bring lots of mundane tasks and plenty of frustrations. I planned on putting pretty much everything besides my kids and marriage on hold until the kids are raised and I'm glad I did because that's how it's kinda working out. Twelve more years and it's cafe time and cafe and GruffyBear honeymoon time. And someday grandkids . . .
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #16
    Senior Member meshou's Avatar
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    Babies do NOT make it better. If you are miserable, I guarantee, a baby will make you more miserable.

    Please do not have children for another decade, at least, especially with mental health issues. Your brain chemistry is not finished changing, and pregnancy WILL mess with your hormones, and may make you perminantly worse.

    My mother had me to make her happy. She decided I was a "bad child" when I did not. She also experienced psychosis for the first time (but not the last!) during a pregnancy.
    Let's do this thing.

  7. #17
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    i'm going to have kids when i find the right person to have them with. that's the hard part. i won't consider having them until i'm 24 or something.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Chaselation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    I had posts moved by the mods for the very first time I think!!!
    Were you the bad girl? Or did the teacher punish the whole class?

    My kids make me happy 90% of the time, when I'm with them I'm mostly happy. When I'm not with them for long periods I'm . They are both young so I think the happiness to grief ratio is at it's best now. They can bring me out of a bad mood but only because I am able to enjoy what they are giving me. The happiness is still coming from within.

    Do posts ever get resurrected? This one seems to have made the rare turn from flame to tame.

  9. #19
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I think I can safely move it to the land of fluff. It'll take me a minute since I'm still getting used to these toys and all.

    Edit: Moved
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #20
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    It's too bad no one has yet found a way to go straight to grandparenthood.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

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