Ooookay it does not make a whole lot more sense in the morning. Let's see...
Newly 30 roommate (Texan, a total wild card, you never know what you will get)
Our third roommate
Guy I have been seeing
His young coworker fresh off the boat from like Wisconsin or something, between leases, crashing at my guy's place until his new lease starts
A friend of ours who also lives in the building who just broke up with his boyfriend, as I found out after awkwardly asking about him
Assorted other party guests
Pinata filled with candy and condoms (birthday girl works for an AIDS non-profit), reading from a 1949 pamphlet with the catchy little title "Questions and Answers on the Sex Life and Sexual Problems of Unmarried Adults: Help for the Unmarried Adults, Who Usually Find Sexual Problems Far More Poignant Than Do Those Who Are Married" (which, among other things, included a segment on "auto-sexual" behavior, shortened to "autocorrect" by the birthday girl, and interjected by her at intervals throughout the night), some very enthusiastic pictionary on poster-size paper. 30-year-old roommate and our neighbor decide they are "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" for the night.
Everyone leaves except for the main characters mentioned above, who walk down the street to a local pub, where there is not typically dancing, but where dancing ends up occurring anyway.
Act III (this is where it gets confusing)
Walking back home, birthday girl punches the neighbor in the nuts, super randomly. Apologizes profusely. Keeps trying to find gay men for him, fails at this. Propositions him several times for sleeping, cuddles only. We discuss having a pancake breakfast in the morning, with all the main characters. Back in the apartment, we get some bedding for the young coworker. He starts to fall asleep on the futon. The rest of us are in the kitchen, eating potato chips. Birthday girl encourages our neighbor to proposition the young man. The proposition occurs, is not successful, I come out of the bathroom, the neighbor tries to be gracious as he say goodnight to me. His eyes are red. We promise we will have pancakes another time. He leaves.
In the other room, the young coworker is feeling sooo uncomfortable now, wants to leave as well. Other two roommates have gone to bed. My guy and I have some sort of weird pleading eye contact because I want him - and by extension the friend/coworker, who has nowhere else to sleep - to stay, but I know that the friend is so uncomfortable now, so finally I just say they should just go.
But it is all less sad and more fine in the morning after some oatmeal and stale potato chips (although still pretty weird). Probably I will go on a bike ride.