I confess to you all, I always wanted to be the guy who wrote the fortunes in fortune cookies. I'd mostly play it straight, but every now and then I'd have to slip in a "Mickey," as it were.
The game here is to write the fortune cookie you'd like to see, either for yourself, for someone else, or as a work of art to admire for its own sake.
I'll lead off:
You will have gastric distress very soon.