My sister used to do it and it would drive me crazy when I was waiting to use the bathroom.
She would also make her piece of cake or fudge or whatever last for like TWO HOURS, taking the tiniest bites from it, watching me suffer. She has thankfully grown out of a lot of that kind of stuff (and I have learned about delayed gratification a bit)...
Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.
For the first few wipes, i take three pieces and fold it twice so it's four layers thick. After that, i take two pieces which i fold into three layers. Note that i use recycled paper, the more it resembles sand paper the better. That soft fluffy stuff is useless: i don't wipe for pleasure, it's strictly business.
You shouldn't use too much paper at once, because that would make it difficult to do a proper pinching motion -- from the outer regions of the anus right to the center. A slight twist along the way increases the effectivity, making the overall motion comparable to a concentric shutter. Your hand should clasp, much like those crane machines at the fair where you can dig for stuffed animals and other treasure (but obviously with a more firm grip and better accuracy -- the quality of the treasure you end up with is very much comparable though). If you don't apply the proper technique, you're not wiping -- you're smearing.
Nevertheless, even with the proper technique it's really just making the best of a hopeless situation. Imagine that you find shit on the kitchen floor: would you consider it cleaned up after wiping a dry piece of paper over it? I know i wouldn't... and i'm a slob. You don't have to be mysophobic to be repulsed by the very idea of this scenario. I'm not even talking about carpet here; even on a lacquered hardwood floor or ceramic tiles i wouldn't be satisfied until some sort of cleaning product was involved. Then consider that skin is porous and perfectly capable of absorbing moist materials, and the average anus is full of nooks and crannies, not to mention the hair in which it can get caught. It's ridiculous to even attempt cleaning such a pit of despair with a sorry piece of paper.
I mean, if you drop your favorite raccoon in a tub full of spoiled custard, you don't clean it with a feather duster, do you? Personally, i always take it to the back yard and hose it down with lukewarm water, using generous amounts of shampoo. Although i have to remember to use baby shampoo next time -- the regular stuff stings them in the eyes and you end up with a grumpy raccoon for the rest of the day. Let me tell you, that's no fun. Of course, normally i would just hose it down in the tub, but you know... it's full of spoiled custard.
ik sprokkel wat dagen, drop baggage,
soms heb ik geen zin om die koffers te dragen,
ik laat los, los het op, word onzichtbaar
en geef de buitenlucht wat ruimte terug
dus.. nu zit ik op m'n fiets alsof het niets is,
maar niets kan toch niet uit zichzelf pedalen laten draaien?