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Thread: The Rant Thread

  1. #6941
    Talk To Me ☀ Array sarcasmsunshine's Avatar
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    I think the reason why Bojack Horseman isn't exactly funny to me is because it's such a realistic interpretation of the 'lovable asshole' archetype. I say realistic because I as an audience member should be supporting Bojack as a protagonist, but I hate him. And not like the average "Gee, I hate that guy haha he's hilarious, time for the next episode," or "This character is too detailed and relatable to enjoy." No, watching Bojack is like watching someone you know actively go out of their way to try to be the lovable asshole. But the thing about trying so hard to be the lovable asshole, is that you aren't lovable. You're JUST an asshole. Insecure and unable to communicate without pushing people away. Comedy shows damn near fetishize cynicism to the point that being cynical is just as formulaic as the tween pop you mock. You literally become the problem. Pessimism is not realism you whiny, pathetic fuck. Other people's happiness is not fake just because you are too sorry to actively seek it.

    Bojack Horseman is the type of show that malleable people mimic because they fail to see the satire in a sociopath getting shit on. The same malleable people will go out of their way to be put into the same situations Bojack wobbles into so they can feel superior about themselves when they stutter out that edgy rehearsed "I don't care" line. The same malleable people who go out of their way to disrupt environments because they can't get positive attention from people who are too nice to tell them to fuck off. People like you are the type of people who call people sheep while totally ignoring that not only are you a sheep yourself, but you're a black sheep, so you aren't even useful like other sheep.

    Bojack represents the type of person that peaked in high school and never found their way to college, but have the audacity to look down at you because they read a stolen copy of some nihilistic book from reddit or 4chan or 9gag or whatever """underground""" anti-special snowflake forum they think is cool because 'FOX News did a story on it calling them hackers, sheeple are so stupid'. I would say that you don't have anything to contribute to society-- to life-- but you would just try to take pride in that because happiness is conformity wrapped in idiocy, right? The type of greasy loser that has somehow become a popular character trope in the past couple of years is so infuriatingly pathetic that it has ignited a fiery passion in my heart dedicated to not tolerating fake cynicism. Life's not that bad, you don't actually want to die, everyone isn't out to get you, all problems have a solution, and you're a lazy asshole who should not be taking pride in that if you actually consider yourself as smart as you think you are.

    Bitch.
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  2. #6942
    ;) Array geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Geedo vs The world
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    6w7 > 4w3 > 1w2

  3. #6943
    Privileged Sh!tlord Array ZNP-TBA's Avatar
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    I walk into the cafeteria to get some coffee during my first break and the whole place smells like freaking rotting tuna. There's a guy eating a small plastic bowl of tuna that just nuked it in the microwave and that shit stinks up the whole place. Annoying. PS I hate seafood.
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  4. #6944
    Senior Member Array Lark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarcasmsunshine View Post
    I think the reason why Bojack Horseman isn't exactly funny to me is because it's such a realistic interpretation of the 'lovable asshole' archetype. I say realistic because I as an audience member should be supporting Bojack as a protagonist, but I hate him. And not like the average "Gee, I hate that guy haha he's hilarious, time for the next episode," or "This character is too detailed and relatable to enjoy." No, watching Bojack is like watching someone you know actively go out of their way to try to be the lovable asshole. But the thing about trying so hard to be the lovable asshole, is that you aren't lovable. You're JUST an asshole. Insecure and unable to communicate without pushing people away. Comedy shows damn near fetishize cynicism to the point that being cynical is just as formulaic as the tween pop you mock. You literally become the problem. Pessimism is not realism you whiny, pathetic fuck. Other people's happiness is not fake just because you are too sorry to actively seek it.

    Bojack Horseman is the type of show that malleable people mimic because they fail to see the satire in a sociopath getting shit on. The same malleable people will go out of their way to be put into the same situations Bojack wobbles into so they can feel superior about themselves when they stutter out that edgy rehearsed "I don't care" line. The same malleable people who go out of their way to disrupt environments because they can't get positive attention from people who are too nice to tell them to fuck off. People like you are the type of people who call people sheep while totally ignoring that not only are you a sheep yourself, but you're a black sheep, so you aren't even useful like other sheep.

    Bojack represents the type of person that peaked in high school and never found their way to college, but have the audacity to look down at you because they read a stolen copy of some nihilistic book from reddit or 4chan or 9gag or whatever """underground""" anti-special snowflake forum they think is cool because 'FOX News did a story on it calling them hackers, sheeple are so stupid'. I would say that you don't have anything to contribute to society-- to life-- but you would just try to take pride in that because happiness is conformity wrapped in idiocy, right? The type of greasy loser that has somehow become a popular character trope in the past couple of years is so infuriatingly pathetic that it has ignited a fiery passion in my heart dedicated to not tolerating fake cynicism. Life's not that bad, you don't actually want to die, everyone isn't out to get you, all problems have a solution, and you're a lazy asshole who should not be taking pride in that if you actually consider yourself as smart as you think you are.

    Bitch.
    Best post of 2016 so far.

  5. #6945
    ;) Array geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZNP-TBA View Post
    I walk into the cafeteria to get some coffee during my first break and the whole place smells like freaking rotting tuna. There's a guy eating a small plastic bowl of tuna that just nuked it in the microwave and that shit stinks up the whole place. Annoying. PS I hate seafood.
    I don't like tuna either, even though I love seafood
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    6w7 > 4w3 > 1w2
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  6. #6946
    Active Member Array Poki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    I don't like tuna either, even though I love seafood
    no ahi-tuna tower?
    Likes geedoenfj liked this post

  7. #6947
    ;) Array geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    no ahi-tuna tower?
    Mmm I never tasted ahi-tuna, but I LOVE Sushi, and it usually contains little bit of uncooked tuna, either within the roll or a slice on the top of it... Yum yum!
    Now you opened my appetite for a Sushi!
    But canned tuna.. No no no I'm sorry tuna lovers everywhere
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    6w7 > 4w3 > 1w2

  8. #6948
    Level 8 Scumlord Array SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZNP-TBA View Post
    I walk into the cafeteria to get some coffee during my first break and the whole place smells like freaking rotting tuna. There's a guy eating a small plastic bowl of tuna that just nuked it in the microwave and that shit stinks up the whole place. Annoying. PS I hate seafood.
    I just got 2nd hand gross out from reading that. One of the best ways to modify the behavior of thosr sea food lovers pulling that kinda stuff is by sharing your thoughts with them. Also, bring some damn air freshener with you at least! I'm sure the 99c store has some.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft
    Likes Anaximander liked this post

  9. #6949
    Level 8 Scumlord Array SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarcasmsunshine View Post
    I think the reason why Bojack Horseman isn't exactly funny to me is because it's such a realistic interpretation of the 'lovable asshole' archetype. I say realistic because I as an audience member should be supporting Bojack as a protagonist, but I hate him. And not like the average "Gee, I hate that guy haha he's hilarious, time for the next episode," or "This character is too detailed and relatable to enjoy." No, watching Bojack is like watching someone you know actively go out of their way to try to be the lovable asshole. But the thing about trying so hard to be the lovable asshole, is that you aren't lovable. You're JUST an asshole. Insecure and unable to communicate without pushing people away. Comedy shows damn near fetishize cynicism to the point that being cynical is just as formulaic as the tween pop you mock. You literally become the problem. Pessimism is not realism you whiny, pathetic fuck. Other people's happiness is not fake just because you are too sorry to actively seek it.

    Bojack Horseman is the type of show that malleable people mimic because they fail to see the satire in a sociopath getting shit on. The same malleable people will go out of their way to be put into the same situations Bojack wobbles into so they can feel superior about themselves when they stutter out that edgy rehearsed "I don't care" line. The same malleable people who go out of their way to disrupt environments because they can't get positive attention from people who are too nice to tell them to fuck off. People like you are the type of people who call people sheep while totally ignoring that not only are you a sheep yourself, but you're a black sheep, so you aren't even useful like other sheep.

    Bojack represents the type of person that peaked in high school and never found their way to college, but have the audacity to look down at you because they read a stolen copy of some nihilistic book from reddit or 4chan or 9gag or whatever """underground""" anti-special snowflake forum they think is cool because 'FOX News did a story on it calling them hackers, sheeple are so stupid'. I would say that you don't have anything to contribute to society-- to life-- but you would just try to take pride in that because happiness is conformity wrapped in idiocy, right? The type of greasy loser that has somehow become a popular character trope in the past couple of years is so infuriatingly pathetic that it has ignited a fiery passion in my heart dedicated to not tolerating fake cynicism. Life's not that bad, you don't actually want to die, everyone isn't out to get you, all problems have a solution, and you're a lazy asshole who should not be taking pride in that if you actually consider yourself as smart as you think you are.

    Bitch.
    A fine post. A seething bitch slap of a rant.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #6950
    Level 8 Scumlord Array SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grand Admiral Crunch View Post
    Sometimes, I get cold and call the dog to me. I get warm without having to fetch a cover. Just thought Id share in case this was also helpful
    Hmmm. Wife #2 or was it #3... anyways she used to USE me as a human heater all the time I run hot and have a high degree of cold tolerance so she had the habit of putting her icy cold ass feet on me. Heck she'd rub up against me telling me how cold she was. Hello?! Blankets? Electric ones even?! I never learned either her icy feet would always catch me by surprise. Reminds me of male preying mantises...
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

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