Food poisoning for my day off and now today I've fucked up the accounts.
Pretty sure that's my last straw and I'm probably going to be fired again. But fuck it I hate this job anyway, should never have agreed to do it in the first place.
'Consciousness is not simply a sensory-perceptual affair, a matter of mental imagery, as the contents of our mind would have us believe. It is deeply enmeshed with the brain mechanisms that automatically promote action readiness' - Jaak Panksepp
Been having lots of panic attacks lately, I feel like quitting my job and lock myself up at home and just hide myself away from the entire world, I don't want to have anything to do with the outside world anymore, the outside world is a really scary place for me.
Today in class the professor handed us a bunch of assignments back and was explaining how she graded, a lot of people got an 8/10. I was really surprised to get a 10/10 cuz it's an assignment I've ranted about before about this weird "sensory detail" thing. A lot of students were getting pretty vocal with their complaints about not understanding their grade, the professor explained like literally 10 times, and every time she finished explaining in depth another student would ask the same fucking question in a different way and she'd have to do it over again. Tension was really high in the room and I just wanted to leave because everyone was getting really upset over the bad communication, and at some point the professor's tone of voice got really condescending and she pronounced every syllable really slowly and kept saying how she's already gone over this 10 times and just everyone was confused and angry and I didn't want to get caught in the crossfire and I was really upset the whole time. Why do people have to do this shit? Can we not antagonize the professor please?! I don't want to get lumped in with all of these other students as "bad"
"P-please don't stare at me like that. I get so...terribly shy."