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Thread: The Rant Thread

  1. #4341
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    people who talk loudly on phones for hours should just get electrocuted by their phones.
    by @magpie

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    The hard lesson to learn, to internalize, is that your worth does not depend on the degree to which you fulfill your family's expectations. Evoking in you the feeling that you fail to reach even the bare minimum of adult accomplishments naturally makes you see yourself as a complete waste of space. But what is easy for some can be hard for others. Try to go your own pace without listening to demands from the outside and, if possible, help your parents see how counterproductive their constant pressuring is.

    Thanks for the advice! And yeah, I know this is one of my biggest weakness, I have difficulty separating my own self-worth from other people's expectations of me. My definition of success is different from my family's definition of success. My definition of success is to make lots of money doing something that I am passionate about, while their definition of success is to have a steady job at age 22. When my family viewed me as a failure, I also start viewing myself as a failure. And it doesn't help much that my mother and my brother are both xSFJs, to them, a job is something that helps to pay the bills, but to me, a job is something that makes me feel emotionally fulfilled.
    I think my goals for next year is: I need to learn to be more strong-minded and start following my own heart when it comes to my career choices and not let my family or any other external opinions influence my career decisions


    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I am experiencing the same pressure from my folks, and I live in the west. I always wanted to see what Japan was like. Where are you from?
    I am from Singapore :P
    I have never seen japan before except on television, but I heard they have some beautiful snow over there

  3. #4343
    시간을 멈출래 영원히 Array Kierva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    Thanks for the advice! And yeah, I know this is one of my biggest weakness, I have difficulty separating my own self-worth from other people's expectations of me. My definition of success is different from my family's definition of success. My definition of success is to make lots of money doing something that I am passionate about, while their definition of success is to have a steady job at age 22. When my family viewed me as a failure, I also start viewing myself as a failure. And it doesn't help much that my mother and my brother are both xSFJs, to them, a job is something that helps to pay the bills, but to me, a job is something that makes me feel emotionally fulfilled.
    I think my goals for next year is: I need to learn to be more strong-minded and start following my own heart when it comes to my career choices and not let my family or any other external opinions influence my career decisions




    I am from Singapore :P
    I have never seen japan before except on television, but I heard they have some beautiful snow over there
    Want to meet up?

  4. #4344

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    Quote Originally Posted by Woaden View Post
    Want to meet up?
    If you live in singapore too, then sure why not, I'd love to make some new friends too

  5. #4345
    시간을 멈출래 영원히 Array Kierva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    If you live in singapore too, then sure why not, I'd love to make some new friends too
    I'm in Woodlands, can quickly run to JB if needed.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woaden View Post
    I'm in Woodlands, can quickly run to JB if needed.
    I'm in bukit panjang, I couldn't run to JB from here and I need to waste cab fees to travel to woodlands first before I am able to run to JB

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    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    I'm actually from an Asian country and in my country everybody usually have their lives figured out before 30. My family have been pressurizing me a lot about my career life. When I was looking for job previously and I couldn't find one, my brother yelled at me every time he saw me and asked me why I am doing nothing with my life. So I enrolled into this music school. Then now my mum said that I am wasting my time studying music and she kept saying how I will never be able to get a job after I graduate. My mum actually expects me to have a full-time job at my age. I don't know, my family often make me feel like I'm a useless good-for-nothing bum. I actually envy people from western countries, at least you guys are able to take the time to slowly figure out your career paths.
    In Asian countries, our lives here are just so fast-paced.
    Just because you're 22 doesn't mean you don't get discouraged and sometimes lose hope. It's easy for some of us that are older to say "Oh you're 22, you have PLENTY of time" but that's not going to make you feel better. Plus, like you said, it sounds more face paced there.

    I was depressed when I was 20 and someone said, "don't be depressed! you're 20!" I wanted to slap them, haha.



    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    Wow, thanks for taking the time to type out this wonderful advice, I have managed to gain lots of new insights from this post, thank you!!

    But I still have a dilemma though. I only have a high school diploma. What qualifications are needed if I wanna teach a language or become an interpreter abroad?
    No problem, I've been there, trust me.

    Qualifications? It depends. A TEFL certificate is a good start. But there's lots of other options and different countries have different requirements, so I'm not sure, you'll have to do some research. Especially the interpreter part. I have no idea, haha.

    But for example, in Taiwan and Korea, they require a college Diploma (and it doesn't matter what). However, in Taiwan at least, very few schools asked or cared. Many people faked them just as a formality. So don't let not having a Degree discourage you. I think there's other certifications you can do online in addition to TEFL. I think I finished my course, but again, in Taiwan, no school ever asked. And you can get a lot of work substitute teaching, even up to full time hours (25 a week is full time there, ahhhhhh).

    But you don't have to limit yourself to teaching english, like you said, perhaps an interpreter. What languages do you speak?

    My buddy travelled the entire globe for a year and a half doing odd jobs, and playing his guitar. Granted, he is a unique individual.

    And @Nicodemus is correct. The hard part is feeling in your bones that your parents/family (even culture) do not know what is best for you and to stop trying to please them. I gave up a LONG time ago trying to explain to my father who I was and what I needed. He still doesn't get it, haha.

    It sounds like your eventual goal is to make a REALISTIC plan to get the fuck out, and then have a way to make some steady money to eat.


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  8. #4348
    시간을 멈출래 영원히 Array Kierva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    I'm in bukit panjang, I couldn't run to JB from here and I need to waste cab fees to travel to woodlands first before I am able to run to JB
    That's not too bad, only a 15 minute bus ride to woodlands.
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  9. #4349
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    what is it with noobs, thinking i'm trolling? i'm getting really annoyed by this. it's called a conversation
    by @magpie

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    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    Thanks for the advice! And yeah, I know this is one of my biggest weakness, I have difficulty separating my own self-worth from other people's expectations of me. My definition of success is different from my family's definition of success. My definition of success is to make lots of money doing something that I am passionate about, while their definition of success is to have a steady job at age 22. When my family viewed me as a failure, I also start viewing myself as a failure. And it doesn't help much that my mother and my brother are both xSFJs, to them, a job is something that helps to pay the bills, but to me, a job is something that makes me feel emotionally fulfilled.
    I think my goals for next year is: I need to learn to be more strong-minded and start following my own heart when it comes to my career choices and not let my family or any other external opinions influence my career decisions




    I am from Singapore :P
    I have never seen japan before except on television, but I heard they have some beautiful snow over there
    Good luck!
    You seem like a very nice girl!
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    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan
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