Why does spring make me so sad? So very sentimental ... bittersweet somehow. I feel heartbroken for no 'real' reason. I guess there is a reason but ... how is it possible to care so much about someone whom you don't even know? I think it's just an obsession and I'm insane. Because when I'm around her it's like I don't care at all! Oh but sometimes I do, then I just run away whenever I get jealous. It wears me out from time to time and I know there is NOTHING to do but wait. I wonder how alone I will be in 10 years time. Because honestly I can see myself alone forever.
And I know saying the slightest of words to her could help the situation immensely. But whenever I get the chance I forget about all that. I'm not comfortable and I CAN'T be myself around people. I suppose that means you deserve to die alone and there's no way anyone could ever possibly love you ever. I wonder what she's going to do this summer. Because I'm most likely going to sit in my room and rot away during warm summer days until school starts again.