It is not the houses. It is the spaces in between the houses.
It is not the streets that exist. It is the streets that no longer exist.
It is not your memories which haunt you.
It is not what you have written down.
It is what you have forgotten, what you must forget.
What you must go on forgetting all your life.
And with any luck oblivion should discover a ritual.
You will find out that you are not alone in the enterprise.
Yesterday the very furniture seemed to reproach you.
Today you take your place in the Widow's Shuttle.
The bus is waiting at the southern gate
To take you to the city of your ancestors
Which stands on the hill opposite, with gleaming pediments,
As vivid as this charming square, your home.
Are you shy? You should be. It is almost like a wedding,
The way you clasp your flowers and give a little tug at your veil. Oh,
The hideous bridesmaids, it is natural that you should resent them
Just a little, on this first day.
But that will pass, and the cemetery is not far.
Here comes the driver, flicking a toothpick into the gutter,
His tongue still searching between his teeth.
See, he has not noticed you. No one has noticed you.
It will pass, young lady, it will pass.
How comforting it is, once or twice a year,
To get together and forget the old times.
As on those special days, ladies and gentlemen,
When the boiled shirts gather at the graveside
And a leering waistcoast approaches the rostrum.
It is like a solemn pact between the survivors.
They mayor has signed it on behalf of the freemasonry.
The priest has sealed it on behalf of all the rest.
Nothing more need be said, and it is better that way-
The better for the widow, that she should not live in fear of surprise,
The better for the young man, that he should move at liberty between the armchairs,
The better that these bent figures who flutter among the graves
Tending the nightlights and replacing the chrysanthemums
Are not ghosts,
That they shall go home.
The bus is waiting, and on the upper terraces
The workmen are dismantling the houses of the dead.
But when so many had died, so many and at such speed,
There were no cities waiting for the victims.
They unscrewed the name-plates from the shattered doorways
And carried them away with the coffins.
So the squares and parks were filled with the eloquence of young cemeteries:
The smell of fresh earth, the improvised crosses
And all the impossible directions in brass and enamel.
'Doctor Gliedschirm, skin specialist, surgeries 14-16 hours or by appointment.'
Professor Sarnagel was buried with four degrees, two associate memberships
And instructions to tradesmen to use the back entrance.
Your uncle's grave informed you that he lived in the third floor, left.
You were asked please to ring, and he would come down in the lift
To which one needed a key...
Would come down, would ever come down
With a smile like thin gruel, and never too much to say.
How he shrank through the years.
How you towered over him in the narrow cage.
How he shrinks now...
But come. Grief must have its term? Guilt too, then.
And it seems there is no limit to the resourcefulness of recollection.
So that a man might say and think:
When the world was at its darkest,
When the black wings passed over the rooftops,
(And who can divine His purposes?) even then
There was always, always a fire in this hearth.
You see this cupboard? A priest-hole!
And in that lumber-room whole generations have been housed and fed.
Oh, if I were to begin, if I were to begin to tell you
The half, the quarter, a mere smattering of what we went through!
His wife nods, and a secret smile,
Like a breeze with enough strength to carry one dry leaf
Over two pavingstones, passes from chair to chair.
Even the enquirer is charmed.
He forgets to pursue the point.
It is not what he wants to know.
It is what he wants not to know.
It is not what they say.
It is what they do not say.
Thread: The Rant Thread
10-18-2012, 08:13 AM #2441
10-18-2012, 09:00 PM #2442
10-18-2012, 09:29 PM #2443
Person one: Do not leave me waiting for hours to give you a ride when you are not even at the place I am supposed to pick you up. Do not make plans for important things when you have not made any arrangements for transportation then expect me to drop everything to accomodate your plans on a few hour's notice. DO NOT call me NINE times in a matter of hours when you know I am probably taking a nap and not leave a single voice mail explaining what you want. Thank you.
Person two: I know it is hard to keep the bills paid and feed the kids. Been there. Done that. Feel lucky to have survived it. I feel you. But when I say you can bring the kids over for me to feed because your electricity is shut off and you have no way to prepare food, do not just let your kids loose in my front door and go back outside to talk on your cell, text, and smoke. I don't mind sharing the food. I don't even mind cooking it and serving your children. I can't do those things and supervise your kids at the same time. My house isn't child-proof anymore. They could get hurt. They could get bit by my dog who isn't used to small children. They could break something we can't afford to replace right now. I'm never going to learn my lesson, am I?“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
~ John Rogers
10-19-2012, 08:14 AM #2444
Fuck all of the people who stop making their partner feel like they are special, yet who have expectations to be made to feel special. What the hell is wrong with you? If you expect someone to go out of their way for you and provide you with all of the warm, fuzzy feelings of importance while you aren't making them feel important... go fuck yourself. At that point, you should just get used to accepting failure. Accept that you are more likely to demotivate your significant other than you are to inspire them. You can't even begin to put all of the blame on them, because you stop even giving them tools that Macgyver could use to start the fucking fire. You give relationships a bad name. You help to break people. You help to make people feel that what they do isn't good enough, because they need to suffer like a beaten puppy hoping for a treat that they'll never get.
As per me? If there is any ounce of hope or caring in my soul for my partner, I will do as much as I can for them and I communicate the reasonable things I desire. It's just to know that I tried my damndest, and to know that if everything fails it isn't for a lack of my partner being made to feel like they mattered. The recent ex had frequent issues, but I still kissed him - every day -like he was the only man on this earth. I still communicated when I was upset to express his importance in relation to my feels. I did whatever I could to express to him "this man is important to me." And for fuck's sake if times get hard, I don't want to push them and push them if I am going to stop being as appreciative of who they are.
As a more specific side note: You're a fucking cunt who was ready to leave her boyfriend within the first month of dating him. You let someone else hit on you for two months, and didn't once mention it to your man. At the same time, you stopped showing him any real affection and started demanding he be better at going to see you and to be better when he was with you. You always put him on blast on your facebook without even speaking to him about what you were feeling first, and let him find out when he logged in to see anyone else who had an opinion on your personal business. And you expected it to work? And now when it didn't you're wallowing about being lonely? I want to cuntpunt you, because you are the thing that ruins people. You are the thing that makes someone like me - within two days - completely mindfuck the thoughts of someone who's been ruined like that. You are the thing that makes me lose faith in relationships and humans. I will fucking eat you alive if you even come up to me about anything regarding said ex of yours.Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man
.:: DWTWD ::.
There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance
10-19-2012, 09:43 AM #2445
Urgh... I was told that taking over as the Evaluations person in our office was in the JD for one of the new hires... now you tell me you don't have anyone in mind to replace me? I'm sorry, but everyone else who requested to "rotate off" of small working groups was able to do so right away... I'm going to end up putting in a full year after my request. FUCK!!
10-19-2012, 05:54 PM #2446
10-24-2012, 12:19 PM #2447
10-24-2012, 12:42 PM #2448
10-24-2012, 01:02 PM #2449
10-24-2012, 01:57 PM #2450
I used to eat in the conference room at my old office. We didn't have a lunch room. Everybody kind of gave me a hard time, but my cube didn't even have a window! (and people would always interrupt with work stuff if you're at your desk - don't people understand RELAXING while you eat??? )
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