I hate cockroaches. Hate hate hates. Gross. How my grandma has so many bugs in her house is beyond me.
I got my smile from the sunshine,
I got my tears from the rain.
I learned to dance when I saw a tiger prance,
And a peacock taught me to be vain.
A little owl in a tree so high,
He taught me how to wink my eye.
I learned to bill and coo from a turtledove,
And a grizzly bear taught me how to hug.
But the guy that lived two caves from me,
He taught me how to love.
Seriously.... You woke me up for that? Sex for all of a minute before you're done? Hell, now I'm wide the fuck awake and horny as a horned toad. Thank you so much, my dear hubby. I'm considering investing in a damn dildo.
Anything that you haven't fought for isn't going to be appreciated. It takes blood, sweat, and a large amount of tears before you appreciate what you have.
I'm in the fucking dentist's waiting room, for a checkup, which is bad enough. Then some lady heifer wearing some "Baby Phat" jacket strolls in...with her FOUR kids (I'm counting the baby in the stroller).
Of COURSE the bitch parks her mobile daycare center RIGHT next to me when there were PLENTY of other seats, and starts yapping with them loudly in Spanish. Whatever. Fine. People are annoying in public, I can accept that. That's life; the world's not a perfect (or habitable) place.
Where I draw the fucking line is when you let TWO of your toxic crotchworms WRIGGLE and CRAWL on me.
And TUG AT MY GODFUCKING HAIR. "Oooh look Barbie hair, Barbie hair, Barbie hair."
Guess what, hatchlings? Having long blonde hair does not make me a fucking Barbie. I understand that Barbies these days are so lifelike, hence the confusion, but answer ths, you little future sex offenders - have you EVER seen your Barbie dolls grimacing in a waiting room? Probaby not.
I tried to kind of wriggle myself off the chair, but the stupid things were on/leaning over my lap. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and yanked my hair out his hands. "Don't touch strangers," I told them.
Of course, mama bear scowls at me, "They're just kids..."
EXACTLY. This is when you SHOULD root out this kind of behavior. If those were my kids, or if I did that as a kid, I'd be taken right home and likely wouldn't be able to sit down for a week - and my adoptive father is from a country where that's illegal.
IDK just do something! I hate them, I hate them all.
I hope those two kids need root canals on ALL their teeth, including their wisdom teeth. I hope their fucking jaw needs a root canal.
P.S. brats....SANTA CLAUS HATES YOU. He gives Satan a key to your house instead, every year. FELIZ NAVIDAD!
edit: actually, this got my mind off of the dentist dread, so...
Last edited by mrcockburn; 08-24-2011 at 03:08 AM.
I have nothing against spiders. I even find a lot of them interesting to look at and appreciate it that they eat a lot of other bugs.
But how do they repay my sympathies?
It's been far too hot all day, so I decided to let in some air, leave the windows open all night and sleep undressed on top of the bed. So I enthusiastically throw myself on the bed and ...outch!...what's that? Some pizza crumps? No. Turns out I had almost crushed a spider that was taking a walk over the sheets in search for even more food (with all the mosquitos and othrer insects the light attracts through the open window, I am now the proud owner of an overfed lazy spider colony!).....and it decided to fight back and bit me!
Damn ungrateful beasts!
Oh, and don't fear for the spider. The little traitor is just fine and has been (more or less gently) escorted out of the window.
The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell A herring's blog Johari / Nohari
I always, always check the date on the milk and smell it before I use it to make sure it's not spoiled. Except today. So of course after I poured it on my cereal and started eating it, I realized, what do you know, the milk was spoiled. GROSS! And I had to throw out my Cheerios.
Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.