Overall, I'm fed up.
I hate that the rotting sack of vagina who is supposed to be my ENFJ friend treats me like I'm not a separate entity from her when I try to maintain the friendship. I also hate that she treats me as nonexistant if I'm not up her ass, texting her or trying to hang out. However, she wants to hang out, but it's certainly my fault if I have a life that tries to revolve kinda-sorta around my own self-respect.
I can't stand how retarded my brother is. How he isn't going to get the clue to get his shit together until he destroys something in this house, his kid gets injured because he's passed out/retarded off pills, or he suffocates from falling asleep in a plate of food. I also can't stand how he doesn't know how to just shut the fuck up and stop rambling nonsense about nothing that no one cares about, esp when pilled up.
I hate being made to feel like I'm an idiot- or that I'm not making enough effort with my relationship. I can't stand being made to feel like a bad guy that can't just tend to someone's 'wants' when they can't even buckle down and listen to me, or remember some consistent and basic details about my life. It makes me feel like a really distant, warm body with no real input, relevance, or reward.
I can't stand not being able to buckle down in my school-work and learn Statistics, because A. I find it ridiculously difficult to absorb and B. I get too easily stressed about everything else to focus well enough.
It frustrates me that I wasn't given the chance, like everyone else, to revise a scenario I wrote for First Aid class. It makes me feel as though I can do no right, even when I make the attempt to explain myself.
I'm anxious because I feel like I can't work hard enough to accomplish my goals. As if I'll never be good enough for them, even if they are few and not that far-fetched. I'm also anxious and pissed toward myself, for seemingly becoming more and more detached from my own perspectives on life.
I'm tired. I'm stressed. I feel disrespected and irrelevant. I damned well feel emotionally invalidated as of late.