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  1. #1
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Default jesus will roast unsaved children who celebrate Christmas!

    I thought this was a bit funny...

    Pastor Fred, of the fictional Landover Baptist Church has given his Christmas sermon early this year, warning us of the dangers of celebrating Christmas if you aren't Saved. Being young won't save you from God's wrath either, because jesus will roast unsaved children He's committed mass murder before, so this shouldn't be a new thing! We should have to ask Jesus' permission before gate crashing his holy birthday celebration- because Jesus doesn't look fondly on gate crashers...

    just a warning to all of you heathens out there
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #2
    . Blank's Avatar
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    Default

    I celebrated Winter Solstice, so I dodged the bullet.
    Ti = 19 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Te = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ne = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fi = 15 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Si = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ni = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Se = 11[][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fe = 0

    -----------------
    Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
    Man got to sit and wonder why, why, why;
    Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
    Man got to tell himself he understand

  3. #3
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    oooh- lucky you! I'm about to plunge myself into a pit of fire by wrapping presents
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Is one of them a brand-new 12-gauge remington shotgun?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Default

    No wonder I sweat so much this time of year.



  6. #6
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I can think of some people on my list who would probably be happy with that gift (for varmit hunting!), but alas, none of my gifts are nearly that cool <-- hand is actually on head in mid swoon
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #7
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I think if I had to be tied to the heathen children who celebrate Christmas or Rev. Phelps as they entered the afterlife, I'd take my chances with the heathen children.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #8
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    ^ Me and you both. Some of these crazy preachers...I don't know.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
    ~~~~
    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
    ~~~~
    "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou.
    ~~~~
    I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi
    ~~~~

  9. #9
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    You're damn right i'm gonna roast the unsaved children!

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  10. #10
    Pumpernickel
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    You're damn right i'm gonna roast the unsaved children!
    Haha!

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