I get to work, after a hour of being there we get 3 fires, I respond to the second one. I get there and the chief tells me to hook up the supply line to the ladder truck, but I I hooked up the engine instead.Then I went to breach the front door and I grab an ax and not a halligan bar. I was so tired that I couldnt keep my eyes open. The chief pulls me aside after we cleared the scene and asks me what is up. I told him that I was just so exhausted from working two jobs. he then noticed that I have not shaved my face for sometime (a big no-no).
"how many vacation days do you have?" he said
"I want you to take a week off, get some rest. I cant have you fumbling around like that."
"I will be fine I just need to get a few hours of sleep"
"well I want you to take a week off, thats an order."
I pack up my gear and drive home, I open my door and just make it to my bed before I pass out for 14 hours...I now have like 5 days off. Now that I think about it, what I am doing to my self is affecting not only me, but people around me for the worse. I am thinking about dropping my other job before I get my self, or worse, someone else killed.
Totally dude, you got a good boss there too, I had a boss which responded to my being worn out once by suggesting that I was possibly in need of professional help and shoudl consider a different line of work, it was mad because I spoke to another boss at the same time and he told me the total opposite, just said, you got any leave? Well, use it, you're great at your job, what a contrast. I dont think I'd even think like that usually but I was under a lot of pressure.
You're great at your job man, from what I'd heard you posting about it, and you sound like a real team player and when you got people depending on you like htat you cant really afford to mess up. Good luck and enjoy the time off.
I know what that feels like. There's not much advice I can give you, but good luck.
Thanks. This is regarding the guy I wasn't into. I had to be honest with him, but I know he's likely to start waging Ti war like he did with me the last time I had told him that I wasn't into him. The combination of my Ni with Te and Fi says that this isn't going to work, and it doesn't feel right and true to what I feel is best for me. I gave him the chance to be fair to him, but I feel like I am not being fair to myself, and a healthy relationship shouldn't feel this way. I have to get out of this before things get worse and I can't escape.
“Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche