Imagination is boundless, it's abstract, it needs no grounding whatsoever. Imagination conceives of things like perfection, things like meaning. But meaning is in the eye of the beholder. It comes from within. And reality is what lies outside. When you start seeing thins as they are, stripped off of preconception and undistorted by your projections you realize there is no inherent meaning to anything. And maybe your ability to create your meaning, is hindered by the things you go through in life, the inconsistencies.
I now understand my unwillingness to bend to reality, to contradict it. Reality is void of all the things that really matter in life. The things that really matter in life are all in our head. Friendship, freedom....they are all mindstates.
I'm reminded of the movie Memento, and why it still remains one of my favorites. "Do you lie to yourself to be happy?". You either choose to see meaning where you please, or you're forced to face the fact that there is no inherent meaning to anything and become hollow. The truth can only set us free of our own delusions. But if we aren't deluded we are little more than robots fighting for things like survival.