I'm so fucking angry. I was at a store with my two best friends and we walked out because their ride was 'bout to come thru, and these fucking douchebags insulted all three of us. We didn't do anything to them, we just walked by... and one of them called me a methhead and a faggot and made fun of my friend's body... What the fuck is wrong with people? Me and my friends are always followed by cops because we're loud and eccentric but we never do that kind of shit. But these assholes looked like they've never gotten in trouble for their actions in their entire lives... So I sat on the ground with my friends and waited until my mom could pick me up and because they were still standing there... I walked over there without saying anything and punched the dude that called me a methhead among other shit.
And I left, giving a final look to one of the two friends I was with - she was the toughest of us, ESTP 8w7, not bothering to put her cig out despite my mom being there because she walked out to stop me (I told her to wait a few minutes until my friends' ride came but really just wanted to deck that fucker and leave) - whispering to her to do something to them when the two of them leave and pass them by for their ride. But ya, today was a fucking shitty day. I went out to hang out with them because I wanted to get high and feel better after being bothered lately but it totally backfired... I saw another friend from school and went over to say hi, and dropped my phone on the floor, making a huge smack. Everyone stared at me like I dropped a nuke. Talked to her and it was awkward, like she didn't want to see me. Then later I turn my phone on and half the screen is glitched out from the drop. The screen wasn't even cracked but I went to a phone store and they said it was either a battery problem or that I dropped it - I said I didn't drop it so they took a look at it to find out and said the battery was fine so it was dropped.
Now I have to raise $100 to get a new screen; better than having to get a whole new phone a second time but my parents will kill me if I tell them. Probably take my phone away for good. So I have to keep it a secret and get the money myself for it. At least it won't be hard pretending the phone is ok since I can still answer calls. I'll just have to pretend to use it sometimes. Goodbye to texting, kik, and snapchat; I'ma use Facebook with this crappy laptop for the time being. Sucks because I just got the number of an old friend who I wanna hang with but I didn't ask them for FB yet and don't think they even have it cuz when I asked for snapchat they said they don't have it because their parents are strict sooo...
And if I couldn't get clumsier, when I was in a store I couldn't stop looking at this cool girl worker who had a mohawk and I bumped into a rack when she was near me and she gave me a death stare. Didn't even say anything. But was talking a lot to my friend who told me she used to be her hairdresser. To top it all off, I never got high because they forgot to bring shit. I have other potential plans for the next four days and I hope those go well because after today I believe in bad luck.
It is always mentioned in personality descriptions that, for example, ENTPs will have very poor memory and be forgetful due to Si being the last in their stack. However, I have never seen any place mentioning about shadow functions. So for example an ESFP would have Si as the first function in their shadow functions. Will that mean that their memory is not great as well, seeing that Si isn't even in their stack? To make it seem greater, maybe INFJs. They have Se as the last in their stack and Si being the last function out of all their shadow functions. However, I have never seen personality descriptions mentioning that they have terrible memories, only that they might overindulge in themselves due to Se being their last function. So yes, I was just wondering about that, not sure if it's correct to have posted this in the random thought thread, just thought there was a need to ask this question.
I saw the Director's Cut version of Donnie Darko last night on my own. Haven't seen it in years and I am still in love with it.
It does make me cry a bit during scenes where it was obvious that Donnie is trying to hang on to what's barely left of his own sanity.
Daydreaming I will feel the coolness on my feet.
I will let the wind bathe my bare head.
I will not speak, I will have no thoughts
But infinite love will mount in my soul - Rimbaud
I'm feeling very shitty about myself and I don't know why. Pressure cooker. All I want to do is lay in bed and disintegrate into the Void. I am a fleck of hardened grease on a diner ceiling. I am the smell of stale piss in a highway rest stop. I am an earthworm baking in the sun on a hot sidewalk.