Lately I've been enrolled in an online course learning about things regarding childhood growth and development. Learning about Eirkson's eight ages of emotional development makes me think about my childhood. There was a period of time (4th grade to 6th grade)that that I was bullied severely by a group of girls (led by an ENTJ bitch). I don't like sharing this experience to anyone even with my friends. I am thinking that the experience has greatly shaped who I am, low self-esteem, having hard time to trust people, whatever you'd like to call. If you ask me if I would like to go back and change everything, I would hesitate. Not because I accept what they did to me, but I think I think what has past should stay past. I love myself even though I am wounded, flawed, and emotionally unstable. But that's who I am. I would never want to change any part of me.
I don't want to die in a car accident. When I die it'll be a glorious day. It'll probably be a waterfall.
I should be out committing fraud, it's what I do best.
Except financially instead of socially.
"An upsidedown wire heart
Being sucked into a periscope
Still the mind is dull
Like you need another excuse"
… a theory is primarily a form of insight, i.e. a way of looking
at the world, and not a form of knowledge of how the world is….
.. all our different ways of thinking are to be considered as
different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some
domain in which it is clear and adequate…. - David Bohm