Lately I've been enrolled in an online course learning about things regarding childhood growth and development. Learning about Eirkson's eight ages of emotional development makes me think about my childhood. There was a period of time (4th grade to 6th grade)that that I was bullied severely by a group of girls (led by an ENTJ bitch). I don't like sharing this experience to anyone even with my friends. I am thinking that the experience has greatly shaped who I am, low self-esteem, having hard time to trust people, whatever you'd like to call. If you ask me if I would like to go back and change everything, I would hesitate. Not because I accept what they did to me, but I think I think what has past should stay past. I love myself even though I am wounded, flawed, and emotionally unstable. But that's who I am. I would never want to change any part of me.
I don't want to die in a car accident. When I die it'll be a glorious day. It'll probably be a waterfall.
I should be out committing fraud, it's what I do best.
Except financially instead of socially.
'Consciousness is not simply a sensory-perceptual affair, a matter of mental imagery, as the contents of our mind would have us believe. It is deeply enmeshed with the brain mechanisms that automatically promote action readiness' - Jaak Panksepp