Yet in the therapy world where loneliness is a major cause of human distress, some professionals still advise lonely clients to “learn to be alone” and work on liking themselves for who they are when they are alone, before they can expect to find a partner or sustain good friendships. However well-intentioned, this view is unsupported by mounting evidence that our ability to connect with and belong to others in close relationships and social groups is vital to our well-being and self-worth, perhaps even a precursor to liking and accepting ourselves when we are alone.
Time alone, on our couches in our houses at our cafe tables on our cell phones at our computers or easels or stoves or TVs may at times be enjoyable, but we didn’t evolve this way and we may not be physiologically wired for it. Working on enjoying our alone time may help ease loneliness a little, but it’s a bad collective prescription for the pain of loneliness, and we need to stop prescribing it to each other.
This is SO important.
"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
- Captain America
ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
want to ask me something? go for it!