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  1. #52861
    A wannabe dog
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReadingRainbows View Post
    At 26, most of my friends that decided to marry at 21 - 22 are now divorcing or already on their second marriages. One of my closer friends sent me a message today letting me know that she is going through a painful divorce because her husband cheated on her with six different women. What do you say to that?
    Why do people take on a serious commitment like that when there is always the possibility that it will go horribly wrong?

    Because many people these days marry for the wrong reasons. Some marry because they think it's the right age to get married, some marry because they have been pressurized by society's expectations, some marry because they fear loneliness, some marry because they are afraid of being left on the shelf. But how many people marry out of true love? Without the foundation of love, how will a marriage be able to go through thick and thin and survive all obstacles?

    There is nothing wrong with marriage, but it's people marrying for the wrong reasons that resulted in divorce. The article below is a great example of how marriage with the foundation of love is like:

    San Diego couple married for 75 years die within hours of each other holding hands | Daily Mail Online

    ^ The couple in this article above are actually childhood sweethearts, they were married for 75 years and they died hours apart holding hands. This is an example of a marriage that is totally based on true love, you can tell that this couple is totally in love with each other. Successful and happy marriage does exist out there, but both couples must be deeply in love with each other in order for the marriage to work out.

  2. #52862
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny View Post
    Because many people these days marry for the wrong reasons. Some marry because they think it's the right age to get married, some marry because they have been pressurized by society's expectations, some marry because they fear loneliness, some marry because they are afraid of being left on the shelf. But how many people marry out of true love? Without the foundation of love, how will a marriage be able to go through thick and thin and survive all obstacles?

    There is nothing wrong with marriage, but it's people marrying for the wrong reasons that resulted in divorce. The article below is a great example of how marriage with the foundation of love is like:

    San Diego couple married for 75 years die within hours of each other holding hands | Daily Mail Online

    ^ The couple in this article above are actually childhood sweethearts, they were married for 75 years and they died hours apart holding hands. This is an example of a marriage that is totally based on true love, you can tell that this couple is totally in love with each other. Successful and happy marriage does exist out there, but both couples must be deeply in love with each other in order for the marriage to work out.
    I kind of have to really strongly disagree with this. It is holding an exaggerated ideal of "true love", plus much more lenient divorce laws, that is causing so many marriages to fail. For most people "true love" means finding someone who really loves you as you are, which is an entirely narcissistic pursuit. A marriage entered into with a good deal of narcissistic expectations, including "true love", is likely to fail. When their marriages fail, they're convinced that there was no other choice than to split, because they weren't happy. It's kind of hard to have true love when both people are expecting so much more "love" from each other than they are getting.

    Hence I take strong issue with the notion of finding "true love", as if the key to a successful marriage is finding "the right person". It has very little to do with finding the right person, and very much to do with being the kind of person who is prepared to commit to marriage.

    Don't get me wrong. I do have some very romantic ideals in this sphere, but my perspective differs from most because I believe that love is an active thing through which one expends energy, and not a passive thing where the ideal is to bask in the presence of someone who loves you.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.
    Likes Destiny liked this post

  3. #52863

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    Its too damn hot.

  4. #52864

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    Technology is supposed to be so great Zuckerburg is talking about telepathically linked facebook and yet my laptop does not know, despite the fact I have never ever not hit the automatic reset when it does so, that when I swipe the touch pad I never want to resize the screen.

  5. #52865
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Technology is supposed to be so great Zuckerburg is talking about telepathically linked facebook and yet my laptop does not know, despite the fact I have never ever not hit the automatic reset when it does so, that when I swipe the touch pad I never want to resize the screen.
    This post upset me and hurt my feelings.
    This is not going to go the way you think....
    Visit my Johari: http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  6. #52866
    F0RUM PRINCESS Frosty's Avatar
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    Why do people have so much hair on their heads? Why not everywhere else on their body? Is it left over from past stages of evolution? Is it protective or something? I mean it probably maybe is partially insulating maybe like fur, but is it really effective at all? It covers such a small area... Maybe because it is at the top of the person, it would be more important-protective from the sun or something. I'll probably look it up but yeah, I'm really bored.



  7. #52867
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    forgive me if I don't writ ein complet esentences and misspellings on the dot.

    my c arpal tunnel will not allow me to backspace and delete.

    sorry...

    just forget it...

    whatever.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  8. #52868
    A wannabe dog
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    I kind of have to really strongly disagree with this. It is holding an exaggerated ideal of "true love", plus much more lenient divorce laws, that is causing so many marriages to fail. For most people "true love" means finding someone who really loves you as you are, which is an entirely narcissistic pursuit. A marriage entered into with a good deal of narcissistic expectations, including "true love", is likely to fail. When their marriages fail, they're convinced that there was no other choice than to split, because they weren't happy. It's kind of hard to have true love when both people are expecting so much more "love" from each other than they are getting.

    Hence I take strong issue with the notion of finding "true love", as if the key to a successful marriage is finding "the right person". It has very little to do with finding the right person, and very much to do with being the kind of person who is prepared to commit to marriage.

    Don't get me wrong. I do have some very romantic ideals in this sphere, but my perspective differs from most because I believe that love is an active thing through which one expends energy, and not a passive thing where the ideal is to bask in the presence of someone who loves you.

    I think I can see where you are coming from. I also believe that it's important for people to be the kind of person who is prepared to commit to marriage. In fact, this is what most people should be doing. Instead of trying to find the right person, they should spend more time improving on themselves and be the right person. And of course expectations is also part of the reason that causes marriage to fail, but at the same time, I can't help but to wonder, why would people have expectations toward their loved ones? If a person has expectations toward another person, this is when it's time to question whether that person truly loves the other person.

    Also, why would true love be about finding someone who really loves you as you are? Why would true love be "basking in the presence of someone who loves you?" This sounds more like infatuation than love. When a person is infatuated with another person, they tend to care more about their own feelings than the other person's feelings.

    True love doesn't think of oneself, because when a person is truly in love they will care about the other person more than oneself, it's when one constantly put the other person's needs before oneself. True love is when you are able to forgive the other person easily and you are unable to stay mad at the other person for long because your care toward them override your ego. When a person is able to feel this kind of love toward another person, this is when you know this person is truly in love with the other person.
    Likes uumlau liked this post

  9. #52869
    across the universe Olm the Water King's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Nice.

  10. #52870
    F0RUM PRINCESS Frosty's Avatar
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    Good morning everyone!

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