I had a greyhound that had the worse farts in the freakin' world. You'd hear this 'pssssss' and you knew that you literally had a few seconds before the wave hit. So awful.
Try living with two golden retrievers. Sometimes I really wonder what is in their food - but then quickly decide I'd rather not know. From experience, I've found putting a clove or two of garlic in their food stops the onslaught.
I want to get up to use the toilet, but an elderly cat has claimed my lap as his bed for the time being. Everytime I motion to get up, he looks up and immobilises me with contented narrow eyes.
...I guess my bladder can take one for the time, for now.