Just all of a sudden, for some reason I've not got a clue about but am now heavily analysing the success of someone I barely know really has begun to really bother me.
I didnt know about this until the end of last week, it was inadvertently telegraphed to me by someone whose opinion I dont care about very much.
But all of a sudden while making midnight omelette with hot sauce there it is.
Bothered, annoyed, peeved.
Why exactly I dont know, its really not going to change this organisation, its the sort of promotion or position I find enviable particularly being more akin to accounting than management or practice. They are younger than me. Although why would that bother me?
Hmm, maybe need to think more but also see about planning my life and getting my act together.
I don't think people understand that they disappointed ne as much as I disappointed them. Probably even more, actually.
I made a decision in the past few days to determine if the other place was for me. Were they truly out to do things differently? Did they actually care about improving things? Did they consider my concerns to hold equal weight to other members?
The answers to all those things was very disappointing. I listened to constructive criticism, but following through proved difficult as it was apparent that the promises offerred to me were nothing more than a trick for insuring my compliance. They were empty promises, and in exhange for acting in good faith, I had ever increasing restrictions placed upon me.