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Thread: Random Thought Thread

  1. #50451
    Seal Down Array Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    HardI know three other gay guys who have told me that baldness is a turn-off, as well. I found it kind of surprising, considering how many men end up losing their hair. What if you were involved with a guy in a long-term relationship, and he went bald? Would you no longer be attracted to him?

    I suspect maybe men in general treat baldness as a bigger deal than women do. I've dated bald guys in the past, and have had crushes on plenty of others. I think if I like a guy's personality, that makes him attractive to me, regardless of how much hair he has. And I know plenty of women who would say the same. My brother is going bald, and he's super self-conscious about it, but his wife couldn't care less.
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    *raises hand* One more vote for Patrick Stewart being a sexy beast.

    This has been my experience too. I used to think that I was turned off by balding/baldness, but it turned out that the actual turn-off is the weird hairstyles that balding guys can resort to, to make people think they're not balding (comb-forwards, comb-over, growing it too long as if the extra fluff will compensate). I like it when guys embrace the balding and buzz off most of their remaining hair -- looks a lot more flattering.
    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    Same here. I think it boils down to a confidence thing. If a guy owns his baldness and embraces it, then that's sexy. But when they do the comb-over thing, or heaven forbid, the toupee, then that just reveals their insecurity.
    There are three principal (physical, excluding facial things as that's nuanced for everyone) turn offs that, if present, I am unable to look past:

    1. Balding (there are rare caveots to this though).
    2. Overweight (my threshold is over ~20% bodyfat).
    3. Small (note this does not equate to short, just a small build in general).

    I really don't like having the standards I do on a physical level, it's frustrating. That's not to say I don't see guys that meet them. I actually see plenty of them. I'd say around 10% of the guys I see I am like "oh yes, yes please" on a given day in town. Granted, the true "holy crap you are exactly my type" is very very rare. I have tried multiple times to ignore them or lower them, and it just doesn't work.

    As far as gay guys and balding, from what I noticed a higher percentage compared to the heteresexual population at large tends to be turned off by it, but by no means all of them. I have come across plenty of gay guys who see it as a non-concern, or even a turn on. Just for me I do not. Part of it could be that one thing I rather like and find I am universally drawn to satistically is a short forehead / low hairline. It's likely because I am the opposite of that.

    I'm also just sensitive to it in general. I have been worried since high school that I'd go bald. My father went partially bald in his early 30's, and my paternal grandfather went completely bald at 18. Unfortunately, when I had part of my genome sequenced through 23andme two years ago I learned that I have a strong increased statistical odds of going bald. My hairline has receeded very slowly since my mid teens and it's something that is always on my mind in some capacity. I do not let it show, but I am self conscious about it and am very sensitive to my physical appearance. It's also a bigger deal for me because my hair is a major portion that makes me attractive to others. To lose that will absolutely send me down several notches, even more so because of my head shape. While I recognize that am solid above average in attraction, the perfectionism in me beckons it not being good enough, and not being good enough to draw in what I want. I do not let it get to me 95% of the time, and I can ignore that internal poking. Balding though; I know I could not handle that at all. I have also found that unfortunately, I need to feel attractive in order for me to enjoy someone else. That said, because I know being self-conscious is a turn off, I'd never let it known. I never divulge my insecurities with myself in this regard.

    Granted, I do agree that you can make it A LOT worse by trying to hold onto it or use bad hairstyles. I also agree that there are some people that wear it well. Some though, can't. I'll be honest I do not see the appeal in patrick stewart at all. I just accept that others see it, even if I don't.
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  2. #50452
    Suave y Fuerte Array BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I really don't like having the standards I do on a physical level, it's frustrating. That's not to say I don't see guys that meet them. I actually see plenty of them. I'd say around 10% of the guys I see I am like "oh yes, yes please" on a given day in town. Granted, the true "holy crap you are exactly my type" is very very rare. I have tried multiple times to ignore them or lower them, and it just doesn't work.
    I imagine that would suck, not being able to ignore those things. It does narrow your options quite a bit.

    I definitely have preferences; I'm not gonna lie. I like taller men with broad shoulders. And yes, hair is a definite plus. But if I met a short, bald guy with a slight build, and he had a fantastic personality, I'd probably still find him sexy. It seems like the older I get, the less physical looks matter to me. So maybe yours will change, with more time? It's possible.

    Or maybe this will change your mind.

    O hai Billy Zane.
    WOOP WOOP WOOP

  3. #50453
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    I imagine that would suck, not being able to ignore those things. It does narrow your options quite a bit.

    I definitely have preferences; I'm not gonna lie. I like taller men with broad shoulders. And yes, hair is a definite plus. But if I met a short, bald guy with a slight build, and he had a fantastic personality, I'd probably still find him sexy. It seems like the older I get, the less physical looks matter to me. So maybe yours will change, with more time? It's possible.

    Or maybe this will change your mind.

    O hai Billy Zane.
    Nah he's not my type (bald or not). Good looking guy though.

    I actually have found that physical matters less as I get older. Though it's more what I am attracted to has expanded to include new or different things, which I definitely welcome.

    Personality is tricky because the types of personalities that excite me the most usually are a bad match for me. I honestly don't know what would be a good match for me though, I have to "see" it to know it. It's difficult to pull up in a vacuum.
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  4. #50454
    Suave y Fuerte Array BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Nah he's not my type (bald or not). Good looking guy though.

    I actually have found that physical matters less as I get older. Though it's more what I am attracted to has expanded to include new or different things, which I definitely welcome.

    Personality is tricky because the types of personalities that excite me the most usually are a bad match for me. I honestly don't know what would be a good match for me though, I have to "see" it to know it. It's difficult to pull up in a vacuum.
    Damn right he is! *ahem* I mean...

    Expanding your tastes is good. I know my preferences have broadened as I've gotten older. When I was a teenager, I hated facial hair of any kind. Now if I see a guy with stubble or a neatly-trimmed beard, I'm like, "Saaayyy..."

    And yeah, personality is tricky. Qualities I might find appealing at first in a guy are often the same qualities that end up driving me crazy. And the qualities that initially bore me somehow become the qualities that I appreciate the most. What the hell's that about?
    WOOP WOOP WOOP

  5. #50455
    Seal Down Array Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    Damn right he is! *ahem* I mean...

    Expanding your tastes is good. I know my preferences have broadened as I've gotten older. When I was a teenager, I hated facial hair of any kind. Now if I see a guy with stubble or a neatly-trimmed beard, I'm like, "Saaayyy..."

    And yeah, personality is tricky. Qualities I might find appealing at first in a guy are often the same qualities that end up driving me crazy. And the qualities that initially bore me somehow become the qualities that I appreciate the most. What the hell's that about?
    Our brains like to fuck with us and make things difficult .

    That's what I assume anyway.
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  6. #50456
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    Damn right he is! *ahem* I mean...

    Expanding your tastes is good. I know my preferences have broadened as I've gotten older. When I was a teenager, I hated facial hair of any kind. Now if I see a guy with stubble or a neatly-trimmed beard, I'm like, "Saaayyy..."

    And yeah, personality is tricky. Qualities I might find appealing at first in a guy are often the same qualities that end up driving me crazy. And the qualities that initially bore me somehow become the qualities that I appreciate the most. What the hell's that about?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Our brains like to fuck with us and make things difficult .

    That's what I assume anyway.
    It's a shame, sometimes, that so much of what we find "attractive" is entirely physical. Can there be a worse possible recipe for "happiness"?

    While I'm not immune to physical attractiveness, I know I'm really in love when she's beautiful because I love her, not because I love her because she's beautiful.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.
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  7. #50457

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    I'm entertaining the thought to watch season two of How to Get Away with Murder just to see more of Connor Walsh.

    23 Reasons Connor Is The Best Part Of "How To Get Away With Murder"

  8. #50458
    Senior Member Array Lark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by laterlazer View Post
    I either ignore them and pretend I didn't hear their comment and act like they don't exist for that time being, or shut them up by proving they don't know half as much as they think they do. They're among my least favourite type of people. But I really don't see what they gain, a false sense of superiority? Why would you want that.
    Its probably the only sort of superiority they can get, they probably dont think its false and who cares about that sort of thing anyway? Its pathetic to be forever in struggles with people around you to try and convince yourself you're not inferior
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  9. #50459
    Senior Member Array Lark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    I don't think anyone deserves to be condescending, for any reason. I mean, has there ever been a situation in human history when being condescending helped matters at all?
    No I agree, what I was referring to was their moment of believing they have anything to be condescending about, some people wait a long time to try and catch people out, its trolling whether its online or offline, and its all driven by inferiority complexes.

  10. #50460
    ka-POW Array labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    me

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