I really hate my lover right now, like we had such a nasty confrontation I actually think after 3 years there's no going back after what he said. It was exactly three years on Thanksgiving, he told me he missed me the day after, and somehow in less than a week this has turned into a nightmare. You can't have a casual relationship longer than six months, it becomes emotionally taxing beyond that whether you label it or not. I really so think right now he's xSTP, he's terrified to label anything, is terrified of his freedom being imposed upon even after being the one to chase me and say he misses me or needs me, maybe we would be a better match in five years or ten years but not now, because he's in his early twenties. In some ways, not the worst ways thank God, I feel like I'm reliving ESFJ, just the stuff he says when he's mad, he gets insecure and says dumb things I don't even believe anymore, I don't know how we ended up so involved, but I just laid it on him, like, bro, you brought this on yourself, either you want me or you don't, if you don't let me go, that's really not so hard is it, no, I don't think so, most people who don't want a deeper relationship are done in six months. Decide, or I will decide for you.