You should start randomly hitting people around you. When they asked you why you are doing this, hit them again.
Yes, I will do this tomorrow. Once I stood next to this girl and my hand accidentally bumbed into her butt, it was awkward. This other time I stood next to a guy and his hand I pressume accidentally bumped into my butt as well! I felt so violated!
Me: "Ugh, I've been re-formatting spreadsheets for the past six hours. This is ridiculous."
Coworker: "You know, I have some spreadsheets that need re-formatting...?"
Me: "There are many things I could say in response to that, and none of them are work-appropriate."
Coworker: "And I'm sure very few of them are anatomically possible."
Me: "Glad we understand each other."