I'm sincerely very happy for you. I have seen people around me reclaim their lives through medication, and it warms my heart to know that they can at least function again.
For a long time I have contemplated antidepressants, but I have decided at this point not to take them (and I would never advocate for people to go down the route I have chosen; because I specifically tailored it for me and what I trust in myself that I know I can handle). Using medication is not weak; it's smart, logical, and medically sound, because clinical depression is entropy of the brain. There is a point at which no amount of self work can help you get through the day.
From my position, I wouldn't say I am "out of depression" (whatever that may mean; it seems like it's been a constant experience of mine since birth haha), but I cannot begin to describe the transformations (for better or worse) I have experienced through it. I'm an incessantly positive person (lols) so that's possibly where my perspective here is oriented; but I am through the mist and over the mountains I guess. It may be a paradox, but whilst my brain may not be predisposed to happiness, I experience happiness on a daily basis through meaning, gratitude and self awareness.
I don't know whether the positives of not taking meds have outweighed the 'negatives' in my experience, but I like where I'm at now. And I am grateful that I can now see my internal strength, and so I let it envelop me on a daily basis. I also like that I have learned to let go.
Perhaps you can do all this even with meds, I don't know. This has just been my experience.
I did a whole lot of self work as well. It made me realize a lot of things about myself as well. Beforehand I was just depressed about regular things, so I just dealt with it and was generally fine. But then there was the straw that broke the camel's back. And I found it hard to function like a normal human being I was so depressed, I couldn't focus, I was really unpleasant, always sad, it sucked. So I decided it was about time to do something about it before I got taken over.
I must say when I was taken out of depression, I got really balanced out. I used to be a whole lot more introspective; but now I seem to be pretty balanced between being introspective and in the moment. It was bout 4/5 and 1/5 before. Not fun.
It was such a strange feeling; because I had never felt anything different in my entire life. But it was a very good feeling. I felt very normal; I was thankful.
This is day 5 of them.
lol @ the post order, your long thought out post and then "Hmmm, coffee."
I have a feeling that a friend of mine has Asperger's syndrome. He doesn't seem to know how to express himself in a manner that makes other people comfortable (if at all), and he usually seems emotionless, though he has strong feelings. He also shows an inability to interpret other people's behavior; he can't seem to tell from a person's tone of voice and body language that they're joking, which is something I noticed but wasn't fully aware of until last night when he got angry with me because he took something literally that was so plainly a joke, it boggles my mind to think anyone could misunderstand it.
For a long time I kept blaming myself for the difficulties of our friendship, but right now it's obvious to me that a lot of our problems relate to a condition of his that he can't help and probably isn't even aware of.
I feel like discussing it with him, but it's not an easy topic to breach. We'll see if I can work it in somehow.
[ Ni > Ti > Fe > Fi > Ne > Te > Si > Se ][ 4w5 sp/sx ][ RLOAI ][ IEI-Ni ]
I really, really should stay away from anything from the past. Now I was social profilespying some old enemies and then I saw this guy from the old days and I figured he was actually kinda cute... But fortunately he's a boring asshole. YAY!
I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
- George W. Bush -