When I have kids, I will make up dumb rules that will piss my kids off. I will make them eat their plate from the left to the right, I will forbid them to wear anything not pink on Wednesdays, I will make them hum 'Do they know it's Christmas' while kneeling in front of a framed photograph of Taylor Swift every night before bedtime. I will make their lives as miserable as possible with my petty rules and demands, but it's not just to show off my authority of for my own amusement. I will make them protest against these rules, so they'll grow up as individuals who know how to protest when anybody makes them obey anything ridiculous. It'll prepare them for the real world, where just a tiny number of people who stand up for themselves seems to be left. And sure, by the time they're old enough, I'll explain to them why their mom is such a bitch. But until then, remember: on Wednesdays we wear pink!