True friends are hard to come by in my experience.
Originally Posted by Noll
Dare I say that they are once in a lifetime?
those relationships usually have to be built, as well - they usually don't just appear in your life, although there might be some instances to the contrary. i find that when you meet someone and you *instantaneously* connect over something, the relationship generally doesn't last as long. that doesn't mean those relationships don't have a massive impact on you. last year, i met a man on a train between philly and washington dc who convinced me to quit the degree program i was enrolled in and change my whole career path. actually, it was this guy, james bernstein:
i talked to him for maybe 45 minutes, had never seen him before or after, but the conversation was *just* what i needed in my life at that moment. if you really, really need it, the universe conspires a way to provide it, i've found. and it always seems to happen at that moment when you are at your wits end and convinced you're all alone in the world. but if you're looking for lasting friendship, it usually is a mix of meeting a compatible person (shared interests + you both have to like each other) but then building a relationship (which is actually a lot of work in my opinion). in other words, people usually evolve into true friends, they don't just come to you that way...
RobertCalifornia: TL thinks im black
RobertCalifornia: shes my homegurl
Hive: arent you
SpankyMcfly: wait... you arent?
thoughtlost: I am not really religious. I just like getting free stuff from churches.
sometimes when I'm talking i'll start a sentence, but then stop after 3 words because a.) I forget what i'm going to say or b.) realize it's not important
so I had this thought just now
you know how vagina's are good at receiving and dicks are good at giving? but in general women are good at giving and men are good at receiving? we just do the opposite of our genitals
And the answer is that I am not a true friend, rather I am a critical friend.
And being a critical friend is an uncomfortable position to be in, because being a true friend is warm and comfortable, and worse, we all want a true friend but don't want to be a true friend.
Our past and abrasive Prime Minister, Paul Keating, said, If you want a friend, get a dog. This seems to me to be unnecessarily abrasive, but on the other hand, who wants to be a dog?
but true friends need to be critical, but also need to be comforting. it's a fine line between being a jerk and being a doormat. You have to be willing to tell you're friend when they've fucked up but also to comfort them when someone has made them feel like shit