I don't like to go on about my self doubt, but there are times when I feel it so strongly and I become so frozen, it becomes a self-fufiling prophecy. And then I have to try to explain whats hindering me those who have no inkling of my whole wretched internal theater.
Once when I was struggling with some higher math, the tutor who helped me the most was a person like family, and together we could just leisurely hang out while I did my work. With this special person, I felt no hesitation about asking for help. He later said that I knew everything, I got the concepts, all I needed throughout the process of figuring out the problems was someone encouraging me, someone I didn't feel like I was burdening. Once I had that traction, I was able to surprise myself.
Its not like I'm always seeking external validation. My own sense of propriety steers me away from seeming too needy. But a little praise can go far. Truthfully, I'm so in my own head, it can resemble a ship in the fog, hoping to spot some lighthouse signal.
If anything, I would want to be the kind of encourager of others which I myself would like to have.
Thread: Random Thought Thread
08-27-2013, 03:54 PM #36471
08-27-2013, 03:56 PM #36472
08-27-2013, 05:48 PM #36473
I wonder if anyone else sees or reads the "failed by the system" stuff and thinks "not even with magic could the system have done otherwise" in this instance.It is a luxury to be understood - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities - Voltaire
A kind thought is the hope of the world - Anon
08-27-2013, 06:50 PM #36474
STUPID HUNKS! I AM SO TIRED OF BEING SURROUNDED BY STUPID HUNKS!Forget the dead you've left; they will not follow you.
The vagabond who is rapping at your door, is standing in the clothes you once wore.
08-27-2013, 06:57 PM #36475
Some very nice ladies have no use for hunks.
08-27-2013, 08:53 PM #36476
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Encouragement is a delicate thing. (Complimenting too.) It's tough to give it meaningfully without sounding disingenuous, or worse. Often I find people give encouragement in a sort of childish, saccharine way (e.g. "Hang in there, champ!") that makes me feel like I'm being pandered or condescended to rather than helped. Of course that has a lot to do with doubting myself, probably more than it does genuinely doubting others' motives. I'm almost certainly guilty of doing the same sort of thing to others. When someone's clearly feeling sad or 'down' my first instinct is to ask "Why so glum, chum?", in those exact words. It's kind of childish and stupid but I'd rather ask with a bit of levity than ask with a melodramatic tone. I feel like bringing levity to the situation shows that it's possible to be in better spirits; I just hope that it doesn't swing the other way and seem as though I treat the situation too casually and don't really care.
I don't know if anyone can fully understand how or why anyone else feels self-doubt. It can be very difficult—painful even— trying to explain, and when people don't understand (and they never seem to) my first thought is "If only they knew 'the real me'." I've come to learn that other people are a lot more perceptive than I gave them credit for, and the reason that they don't see anything wrong with me (at least in whatever respect it is that's bothering me) is not because it doesn't show. I'm not so adept at compartmentalizing or hiding my feelings that they can't tell that there's something wrong with me. It doesn't show because it's not there.
As you said it becomes self-fulfilling; the answer to the question "What's the matter with me?" is the question itself. You might feel "But if only people knew 'the real me'!" Most people would probably not find anything 'wrong'.
08-27-2013, 10:59 PM #36477
what does it mean (if anything) when random things keep catching your eye and you have to look at them...and it's nothing...it's the red on the book on the bookshelf or the light reflecting of the silver microwave in the other room...or the doorknob...just all day long weird completely unimportant things.There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.-Jim Morrison
08-28-2013, 12:15 AM #36478
08-28-2013, 12:15 AM #36479
I just blew up some marine fish parasites using osmosis!
08-28-2013, 02:26 AM #36480
Does suffering, on merit of being painful and above all other considerations, morally obligate the alleviation of it as soon as possible, by whatever means necessary? It's not just a question for innocent little girls to bump into. It's also a question we deal with on a great scale, that cultures vacillate over and mediate.