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  1. #35311
    Vulnerability Eilonwy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    You are right about law vs. justice. We will have to wait and see how that plays out in the courts. The highlighted is what I am concerned about. I know how to offer practical help, and can simply spend time with them and listen. I don't have any experience or training with situations like this, though, and don't want to give bad advice, or come across as unresponsive/uninterested. In the phone conversations we have had so far, I have felt I should be saying more in addition to just listening, but I am at a loss. I have known this family for almost 10 years, and they don't deserve this; not that anyone does, but they have consistently gone out of their way for friends in need, and now they are the ones needing support.
    Sorry to butt in. @Lark can also let you know if my advice is sound or not. If you're comfortable with telling your neighbors (the parents) something along the lines of what you just said above--that you know how to offer practical help, but you don't want to give bad advice or come across as unresponsive when you're listening--and then ask them what would be most helpful to them and their daughter from you, I think they would appreciate it.
    Johari / Nohari

    “That we are capable only of being what we are remains our unforgivable sin.” ― Gene Wolfe

    reminder to self: "That YOU that you are so proud of is a story woven together by your interpreter module to account for as much of your behavior as it can incorporate, and it denies or rationalizes the rest." "Who's in Charge? Free Will and the Science of the Brain" by Michael S. Gazzaniga

  2. #35312

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eilonwy View Post
    Sorry to butt in. @Lark can also let you know if my advice is sound or not. If you're comfortable with telling your neighbors (the parents) something along the lines of what you just said above--that you know how to offer practical help, but you don't want to give bad advice or come across as unresponsive when you're listening--and then ask them what would be most helpful to them and their daughter from you, I think they would appreciate it.
    I'd agree with that, although people underestimate the extent to which they can help too much has been abdicated to professionals who're as uneven as the rest of the population when it comes to advice and bad advice, that's my opinion but its also my experience, things could be different were you are.
    It is a luxury to be understood - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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  3. #35313
    garbage
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    I'm procrasternating. I'm stern about procrastinating.

  4. #35314
    Ginkgo
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    A thick, effluvial film of teryiaki and booze encases my fart bubble.

  5. #35315

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    You are right about law vs. justice. We will have to wait and see how that plays out in the courts. The highlighted is what I am concerned about. I know how to offer practical help, and can simply spend time with them and listen. I don't have any experience or training with situations like this, though, and don't want to give bad advice, or come across as unresponsive/uninterested. In the phone conversations we have had so far, I have felt I should be saying more in addition to just listening, but I am at a loss. I have known this family for almost 10 years, and they don't deserve this; not that anyone does, but they have consistently gone out of their way for friends in need, and now they are the ones needing support.
    I know what you mean, bad things happening is one thing but bad things happening to good people is another.

    Being part of the informal network or support which remains consistent when trauma happens is pretty important.
    It is a luxury to be understood - Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities - Voltaire

    A kind thought is the hope of the world - Anon

  6. #35316

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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairdoug View Post
    I hope it's not because you bought into all the feel-good crap they tell you about social workers making the world a better place. It's great and all, but I can't understand how anyone could be idealistic enough to actually put others' needs ahead of their own success.

    If I had any level of confidence that I could get above a C- average in anything but the social sciences, or could do the math, tech, and physical work involved in a trade that paid just as well, I'd bow out of social work in a heartbeat. Alas, I've probably explored 50 different careers and it seems to be the one I'm suited to most from an ability standpoint.


    Oh yeah, isn't it great how we lie to young kids in school every day, telling them they can do whatever they put their mind to? I think idealism is one of the worst things we subject children to.
    ^ Dude that is an uncharacteristically pessimistic post from yourself there.

    I never heard anything about social work when I was at school, I got very little in the way of advice or guidance actually but I remember writing stories when I was younger and then I just stopped.
    It is a luxury to be understood - Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities - Voltaire

    A kind thought is the hope of the world - Anon

  7. #35317
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    ^ Dude that is an uncharacteristically pessimistic post from yourself there.

    I never heard anything about social work when I was at school, I got very little in the way of advice or guidance actually but I remember writing stories when I was younger and then I just stopped.
    It's not an uncharacteristic rant though. It just usually doesn't spill over to the forums. Vent yes, but not the forums.
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  8. #35318
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  9. #35319

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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairdoug View Post
    It's not an uncharacteristic rant though. It just usually doesn't spill over to the forums. Vent yes, but not the forums.
    Oh right, I sort of take you for a more upbeat guy, social work has a lot of poor examples in its present ranks and it gets over run by bureaucratic attempts to fix it but it is a skilled profession, the good examples of social workers that I know are pretty exceptional I've got to say, its just that there's a shocking amount of bluffing and place finding or social climbing exhibited by a lot of people in the field too. Dont know if other professions are the same.

    I've got a real dream of what the profession and services could be you know, its a shame the reality just falls well short of it.

    I certainly wouldnt hold the view that its not a "real" job or the unskilled alternative for people who're not mathetically gifted or whatever.
    It is a luxury to be understood - Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities - Voltaire

    A kind thought is the hope of the world - Anon

  10. #35320
    lords of summer EJCC's Avatar
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    While staying in a home while the roof is being repaired, an unexpected moment of loveliness: Watching sawdust fall like snow outside my window.
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