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  1. #34111
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I was cutting up a piece of meat to marinate and thought that it smelled so terrible that I definitely needed to take it back and demand another when I looked down at my feet and noticed the dog looking immensely pleased with himself... Motherfucker had farted
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #34112
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I'm concerned it's a trick
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington

  3. #34113
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Redecorated the bedroom, made a new duvet cover because I couldn't find one I liked, vacuumed, spot treated the carpet, shampood the carpet, cleaned the kitchen, did 3 loads of laundry, sorted through all of my clothes and took 2 bags to goodwill and made dinner...

    Now we're laying across the bed listening to more 90s rap and I've suddenly gone from grown up to high schooler...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #34114
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    Woman at work keeps massaging my shoulders. Should I file for sexual assault or do I have an excuse to hit a woman? Because it is self-defense, is it not?

  5. #34115
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü™ View Post
    Woman at work keeps massaging my shoulders. Should I file for sexual assault or do I have an excuse to hit a woman? Because it is self-defense, is it not?
    When one of her hands reaches your shoulder, lick it suddenly.
    "If you try to build something that is idiot-proof, the universe will build a better idiot."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal+ View Post
    When one of her hands reaches your shoulder, lick it suddenly.
    But that would be sexual assault on my part.

  7. #34117
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  8. #34118
    Perfect Beat Redbone's Avatar
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    Being "in need" is not the same as being "in love"....

  9. #34119
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    soooo hungry only a quarter bowl of soup and some cookies all day. ordered chinese (cream cheese ragoons, egg drop soup, and lo mein)
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington

  10. #34120
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    I can't wait.

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