One of the guys at community service was telling me about the time he engaged in a high speed chase with police on a stolen motorcycle, whilst he still had a colostomy bag from a previous accident (also on a stolen motorcycle). This is my life now, listening to stories about failed illegal activities and people being glad they didn't break their colostomy bags in crashes.
"But you forget that there is one value that is greater than all others: human freedom. Because no matter how perfectly you set the world up for humanity, they will always rebel simply to exert their own selves. You cannot win."