One of the guys at community service was telling me about the time he engaged in a high speed chase with police on a stolen motorcycle, whilst he still had a colostomy bag from a previous accident (also on a stolen motorcycle). This is my life now, listening to stories about failed illegal activities and people being glad they didn't break their colostomy bags in crashes.
Terrible things happen to good people every day.
Consequentially, I am not one of the good people. I am one of the terrible things..