- Stand in line. Occasionally, the person in front of the line will place a bet and exit. When this occurs, the line will become shorter. Take one to two steps forward.
- At some point, the line may become so short that you are, in fact, at the very front of it and facing the betting window. If this happens, shriek "HORSEBET" and throw a handful of wadded-up bills at the cashier.
- Run away. It does not matter whether you receive a bet slip because you are going to lose.
- A new school of betting theory argues that you shouldn't simply bet on the existence of horses, and should bet on one horse in particular. Odds can be fun sometimes, but I mean, all horses are basically the same. Look at them. They all got tails and feet and shit. Just go with your gut and bet on a horse whose name you like.