I'm going to make myself insane with all of these deep, disturbing thoughts. I feel like an isolated young lady who's just been thrown into a bloody battlefield. I don't want the world to be like this. I've already cried from the reality that is our "society".
I need a shelter from it all. Some solace that is free of bad news, disease, reality... I cannot accept that Earth is being destroyed by us humans so quickly. It's bad enough we're destroying each other, but why bring the very thing that brought us life into our war zone? Why is the human race so close-minded, ignorant, arrogant, traditional, and stubborn that we deny any sort of responsibility; anything out of the "norm"?
But perhaps I'm doing just that with my search to find a place to escape from reality. I'm not accepting this fate humanity has paved for itself. Yet, maybe this new perception isn't as harmful? Am I actually doing some good by recognizing every little fault in this disgraceful society? I don't know the answer because I don't think there is one. These morbid, dark thoughts have been replacing my euphoric daydreams for about a week now.
People, like me, only want to be told what they want to hear. They ignore the rest. My problem is that while I do listen to things that aren't quite so pleasing, I give up too easily in trying -wanting- to fix them. Somebody tells me 1.4 million acres of rainforest are being cut down every year? I get upset, yes, but I don't do anything about it. I know I can't fix the world, even if I really want to. And if I could, I wouldn't have all the answers and solutions to problems. I'm no superhero; just a Plain Jane from Sweden. The most I could ever do is just perish and watch the world gruesomely rip itself apart by its own doings.
I need a hug.