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Thread: Random Thought Thread

  1. #19361
    Starcrossed Seafarer Array Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I hate it too. But it's worse if you're not invited at all, than if you get asked it but can't make it due to other commitments. At least then they thought of you.

    I wouldn't really care with co-workers as more of them are just colleagues and not so much friends, but I've had so-called friends do that to me too. I remember this, ahem, bitchy girl who I used to know who I had a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances with. She'd always organise parties and never invite me. Then she'd come up to me another day and say things like "Oh, we had a party, it was really fun! We should have invited you!"
    Yeah, usually with coworkers I wouldn't care, except that in our office, EVERYONE in my peer group tends to be invited to these parties, except me. :P And this was even worse because one of the participants in the conversation is one of the few people in the office I actually consider a friend, not just a friendly colleague.
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  2. #19362
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    Yeah, usually with coworkers I wouldn't care, except that in our office, EVERYONE in my peer group tends to be invited to these parties, except me. :P And this was even worse because one of the participants in the conversation is one of the few people in the office I actually consider a friend, not just a friendly colleague.
    What I particularly dislike personally about this type of thing is how it feels like being in high school again Both the actions of the people I'm apparently friends with, and questioning my own reaction to it.
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  3. #19363
    Starcrossed Seafarer Array Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    What I particularly dislike personally about this type of thing is how it feels like being in high school again Both the actions of the people I'm apparently friends with, and questioning my own reaction to it.
    YES, absolutely. Probably I'm not invited because they know I wouldn't come anyway, so I should be glad that I don't have to come up with an excuse not to go. But SOMETIMES I'm in the mood to go to a party, and it'd be nice to be invited. I make it a point to show up once in awhile, so it's not like I NEVER go to things I'm invited to...
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  4. #19364
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    YES, absolutely. Probably I'm not invited because they know I wouldn't come anyway, so I should be glad that I don't have to come up with an excuse not to go. But SOMETIMES I'm in the mood to go to a party, and it'd be nice to be invited. I make it a point to show up once in awhile, so it's not like I NEVER go to things I'm invited to...
    My experience (well, my own experience and that of similar-temperament friends) is that if you always say no, people will stop bothering. But as you say, if you say yes at least sometimes, they have no reason to not ask. It is nice to be included. If I have to say no (or secretly it's something I really don't want to attend...) I usually make a point of saying "thanks so much, hopefully another time!" or something like that, trying not to sound needy

    I might be taking this too far but it almost seems like a typical INFJ problem. When we socialize with people we're usually quite fun. But it's perhaps the fairly reserved exterior - certain people have often assumed from the word go with me that I would never ever be interested in their parties. (Whereas I probably wouldn't ALWAYS be, but sometimes, sure!). Then if they actually see me at a party, or hear about one of my nights out at a rock concert they conclude I'm actually more fun than they thought! But they still don't quite know how to take me
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  5. #19365
    Starcrossed Seafarer Array Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I might be taking this too far but it almost seems like a typical INFJ problem. When we socialize with people we're usually quite fun. But it's perhaps the fairly reserved exterior - certain people have often assumed from the word go with me that I would never ever be interested in their parties. (Whereas I probably wouldn't ALWAYS be, but sometimes, sure!). Then if they actually see me at a party, or hear about one of my nights out at a rock concert they conclude I'm actually more fun than they thought! But they still don't quite know how to take me
    I don't think it's taking it to far. It might not be an issue with all INFJs, but I think it's something quite a few of us can relate to. Most of the time, I kind of relish being the mystery that no one can quite figure out. But it does make it hard to establish a solid group of friends... I tend to have more one-off friendships, and not really ever fit mainly into one group. Then, I have to divide my social time between separate groups, plus I have to make lots of time for alone time. So even though I might be doing social things fairly often, any one group might feel like they never see me and like you said, they stop bothering to invite me. Le sigh.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

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  6. #19366
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    I don't think it's taking it to far. It might not be an issue with all INFJs, but I think it's something quite a few of us can relate to. Most of the time, I kind of relish being the mystery that no one can quite figure out. But it does make it hard to establish a solid group of friends... I tend to have more one-off friendships, and not really ever fit mainly into one group. Then, I have to divide my social time between separate groups, plus I have to make lots of time for alone time. So even though I might be doing social things fairly often, any one group might feel like they never see me and like you said, they stop bothering to invite me. Le sigh.
    It's hard to find people who really "get" you, for sure. I've settled for a tiny number who REALLY do (like, two?) and some more who somewhat do, and make the effort (and it's reciprocal.) Which is pretty fantastic actually. I know many people never have nearly that much. But most of those close friends are IxxJ.

    And yeah, I sometimes end up with friends scattered here and there through social groups and though in some cases they know each other at least a bit, they don't get along that well, so I can't really mix them up much either without it getting awkward. Le sigh!
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    A Mystery Array Jacques Le Paul's Avatar
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    blah! why do bitter banned intjs always make dupes and end up getting perma banned i thought they were suppose to be smart.
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  9. #19369
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    lol @ patchessucks

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    Post Human Post Array Qlip's Avatar
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    I feel like a bad person for being irritated. But, if I was in remission for pancreatic cancer, I wouldn't unload all the details of my treatments and side effects within the first two minutes of meeting somebody while they were eating.

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