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  1. #31
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I think I'd take the reverse psychology, acknowledge that Hanover has told you about her looking for you and "apologize" for missing her; but I like fucking with people's minds that way...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  2. #32
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'd personally ask her about her psychological problems the next time I saw her and say that my signifigant other said that she seemed a bit off lately- that should definitley get the point across! Of course, that's kind of a cruel thing to do Or you could beat her to it and talk to the neighbors about the problem since they all know that she's crazy anyways- other neighbors might have faced or be facing the same problem as you, and preemptively mentioning her stalking of your man to everyone else would make sure that your side of the story got out first.

    I'd let the air out of her front passenger side tire just enough to throw off her steering instead of outright slitting her tires! (harder to get caught and if she's unobservant could cause some troubles for her- like needing to replace her tire, or the car)

    ok- another post in which I sound vaguely psycho- and I wonder why I'm a former LTR/engaged chick!

  3. #33
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'd personally ask her about her psychological problems the next time I saw her and say that my signifigant other said that she seemed a bit off lately- that should definitley get the point across! Of course, that's kind of a cruel thing to do Or you could beat her to it and talk to the neighbors about the problem since they all know that she's crazy anyways- other neighbors might have faced or be facing the same problem as you, and preemptively mentioning her stalking of your man to everyone else would make sure that your side of the story got out first.

    I'd let the air out of her front passenger side tire just enough to throw off her steering instead of outright slitting her tires! (harder to get caught and if she's unobservant could cause some troubles for her- like needing to replace her tire, or the car)

    ok- another post in which I sound vaguely psycho- and I wonder why I'm a former LTR/engaged chick!
    genius. evil, but still genius.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #34
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    It really isn't about Hanover though that may seem hard to believe.

    (...)

    She pushed the wrong button with me. There is very little that can get me really angry.
    Why does it get to you that a basket case you yourself have kept at arm's length is unsuccessfully throwing herself at your husband, if not because she is stepping on your insecurities about him? Of course you know rationally that this woman is no threat, but apparently she does bring out your general fear (quoted in my previous post) that he might someday leave you.

    I know the thing to do which is probably most mature is to not do anything :steam: :steam:! However if she wanted to push my buttons a HUGE part of me feels like giving it to her! I guess she would win in a sense, but I want it to be a 'victory' she will not soon forget. This is the dilemma!
    My advice is to think of her as you would of a rattlesnake that had gotten onto your porch. You wouldn't argue with a rattlesnake or try to win victories over it; you would simply get it off your porch. The cleanest way to send this particular exemplar permanently packing is to discourage her directly (which only your husband can do and which he is in fact doing) and to refrain from encouraging her indirectly (which is what you just might do if you confronted her).

    If you absolutely must expend more energy on this woman, I propose... befriending her in order to try to help her. Obviously she fancies herself the femme fatale; if you can convincingly communicate to her that you do not see her as a threat, but rather as a person to be pitied, you just might get the satisfaction of seeing her seethe with the anger of humiliation.

    Finally, I'd like to stress my belief that causing your husband any kind of annoyance about this will only make him love you less and disincline him to tell you about future encounters with other women. I don't think he will ever leave you for an older woman (Prince Charles aside, that would be a first ), but if you allow your insecurities to dictate your behavior, he just might leave you for a woman who is more low-maintenance.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    While I disagree with your assessment (only because I had to ask) I understand your point. After I lowered the gun and he got to put his hands back down he said "I don't care what you do to her as long as you don't get in trouble". I'm going to leave it alone right now. The anger has faded for the most part.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  6. #36
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    I doubt she will keep it up for long. If she's as insecure as you suggest, there's only so much rejection she can take before she gives up or ups the ante ludicrously (opening herself up to even greater rejection). That's assuming you starve her of drama. If you give her drama she will probably revel in it, and milk it for all it's worth. She will roll around in the drama like a freshly-washed dog rolls in something containing maggots.

  7. #37
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    If you don't mind my asking, what type of social club is it that you belong to?

    As for this woman coming over when you're not home, that is not acceptable in my book. I would confront her and let her know that it's not ok to drop by unannounced. It seems to me that she is trying to get up with your Husband and if that was happening to me, the claws would be out!

    PS Men will usually say that we're overreacting when actually our intuition is dead on.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  8. #38
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    PS Men will usually say that we're overreacting when actually our intuition is dead on.
    Always?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #39
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    PS Men will usually say that we're overreacting when actually our intuition is dead on.
    It's not a question of whether she actually has designs on L4etc. I don't think anyone here doubts that L4's intuition is spot on. The issue is whether or not she is overreacting in believing that she has to (or should) intervene in the situation.

  10. #40
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Always?
    99% of the time

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    It's not a question of whether she actually has designs on L4etc.
    You mean designs on L4's Husband, correct?
    I don't think anyone here doubts that L4's intuition is spot on. The issue is whether or not she is overreacting in believing that she has to (or should) intervene in the situation.
    I can see not saying anything if it happened once, but more than two times and she definitely needs to be confronted.

    A similar reversed thing happened to us. Several years ago a male neighbor of ours (who was newly divorced) was at the pool with his kids everyday after school. Whenever I would take our kids to the pool he would talk my ear off about his divorce and his kids, blah blah blah. One afternoon he stopped by our house and wanted to know if I was interested in some outdoor toys that his kids had outgrown. I said no thanks, have a nice afternoon. About 4 days later he rang our doorbell again and wanted to know if we were heading over to the pool. Well my Husband was home and he wasn't too happy. He said that if he came over again he was going to have a word with him.

    When I mentioned this to a female SJ neighbor she said "awww, I feel sorry for him. His wife left him and he is just lonely" I realised that I was flogging a dead horse and never brought that subject up again.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    If she doesn't take a hint, let me know and I'll try to come help you slit her tires.
    And here I am thinking at my age nothing can surprise me. My dear, I am speechless!
    Time is a delicate mistress.

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