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  1. #21
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    Is this really that big of an issue? If the other people in the social group know that the person is a bit off in the head, how does she have power over them?

  2. #22
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    Is this really that big of an issue? If the other people in the social group know that the person is a bit off in the head, how does she have power over them?
    people in masses with interconnecting loyalties and ulterior motives and a need to be accepted = shit hitting the fan.

    over and over again I have seen it. especially parents of sporting teams. they are the worst.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #23
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Not a married/LTR woman, but I agree with Economica. Don't worry about it, and don't confront her. Your husband sounds like he's onto it and is no fool. If anything, you could go around to her place and tell her your husband mentioned that she's been trying to get hold of you, and ask what's wrong. You could even give her your work/cell phone number in case she wants to contact you. You could also tell her your working hours, and that you won't be home during those times. This will take away any excuse for her to visit when you aren't there. If she continues to visit while you are at work, you could make up a little sign of the "Lookin4theBestNU is IN/OUT" variety, or a work schedule and pin it on the front door. That should be a pretty pointed hint. Otherwise, don't worry about it. If you demonstrate that you are offended/threatened you will probably just encourage her. My opinion.

  4. #24
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    I worry this woman could end up damaging your relationship indirectly - that is, not by offering a temptation to your husband, but by bringing out your insecurities. I see two problems in confronting her: 1) You're showing your husband that you do not trust him (even though you say you do - after all, actions speak louder than words). 2) Once you've revealed that she's getting to you, my guess is that she will only up the ante, and if so, then your husband will be annoyed with you for stirring up more trouble and making it more awkward for him when he was already on top of the situation (so to speak ). By confronting her, you're thus shooting yourself in the foot with your husband in at least one way and potentially in two ways.
    I've experienced similar feelings to hers and there is a separate feeling of betrayal that happens between women. It's amazing how much it can hurt, even when you know your man is faithful. When a woman feels bold enough to cross your personal boundaries it is the female equivalent of being emasculated. Women know exactly what they are doing with this form of social competition and power plays. Men aren't often aware of it.

    Maybe a little extra PDA is the simplest course to follow?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    Is this really that big of an issue? If the other people in the social group know that the person is a bit off in the head, how does she have power over them?
    I hope you are right in her case, but I have known many crazies who run the show. It's bizarre how gullible people are. It's worth being cautious and analytical.

    I'm partly guided in my comments by a history of reading L4BNU's posts during conflicts and noticing an unusually high emotional intelligence. Her analysis of the situation and her instincts are likely right on the money. She is also rather stunning, so that is a formidable combination for this love-sick looney to contend with. I'm confident that L4BNU is going to come out on top.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  5. #25
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    ... Women know exactly what they are doing with this form of social competition and power plays. Men aren't often aware of it.
    Or are aware that it is happening, but the emotional/personal overtones do not seem significant to them. (It's just competition.) With women, this sort of thing is very very personal.

    Maybe a little extra PDA is the simplest course to follow?
    I really like how you think!

    I'm partly guided in my comments by a history of reading L4BNU's posts during conflicts and noticing an unusually high emotional intelligence. Her analysis of the situation and her instincts are likely right on the money. She is also rather stunning, so that is a formidable combination for this love-sick looney to contend with. I'm confident that L4BNU is going to come out on top.
    I totally agree... however that last line is going to be read.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #26
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    What does LTR mean exactly? (I've read the thread a few times but still can pin anything on it?)

  7. #27
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    I really like you all !

    Here is the other little part to the situation & I hope it explains several posts at once. It really isn't about Hanover though that may seem hard to believe. He has a way of being intimidating without saying a word that I always thought was hot. Anyway I've really been impressed with his handling of the situation so far.

    This woman however has been competing? or attempting to get my attention for a very long time as strange as that sounds!! I've been ignoring her quite successfully for nearly a year. I don't want to be friends with her, listen to her or even speak to her. It's not as though I haven't been civil and done the social obligatory thing to do (like hello's etc but it ends there). I would say in some degree this is what is bothering her. I've been so good at not letting her get a rise out of me or make me seem anything other then indifferent to her presence. I have nothing in the way of friendship to offer her. She isn't someone I would voluntarily talk with as she is very manipulative and attention seeking.

    This time though she did succeed in getting my attention. She pushed the wrong button with me. There is very little that can get me really angry. Screwing with my family and causing gossip/drama to a social life that is wonderfully absent of these things is a double-whammy. I know the thing to do which is probably most mature is to not do anything :steam: :steam:! However if she wanted to push my buttons a HUGE part of me feels like giving it to her! I guess she would win in a sense, but I want it to be a 'victory' she will not soon forget. This is the dilemma!

    Edit: LTR=Long term relationship
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  8. #28
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Possible Girl Crush expressed immaturely?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/11/fa...Hg&oref=slogin

    It refers to that fervent infatuation that one heterosexual woman develops for another woman who may seem impossibly sophisticated, gifted, beautiful or accomplished. And while a girl crush is, by its informal definition, not sexual in nature, the feelings that it triggers - excitement, nervousness, a sense of novelty - are very much like those that accompany a new romance.
    sort of like how women wear makeup/dress for other women.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  9. #29
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Thanks for the heebie-jeebies !
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  10. #30
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Thanks for the heebie-jeebies !
    no problem

    seriously though she's lonely and seeking attention and it's spilling over onto you for reasons that aren't your problem. just keep reminding yourself that.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

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