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Thread: How are you pretentious?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Apr 2007

    Default How are you pretentious?

    Areas of pretention for me:

    1. I continue to borrow Tim Winton books at the library even though I never read more than a chapter before crashing into depression. I pretend to read them because I think I should appreciate Australian "literature" more than I do.

    2. Feign greater familiarity with cheeses than I actually possess. I once bought almost a kilo of assorted Fetas with the ambition of learning to distinguish with assurance between Bulgarian, Australian and Danish varieties.

    3. I refuse to drink Merlot and Pinot Noir because I consider them too "American".

    4. I conceal from friends and family the fact that I find Frasier quite humorous.

    5. I often say "humorous" when I could just say "funny".
    Last edited by JivinJeffJones; 10-31-2007 at 02:53 PM.

  2. #2
    eating bugs out of hair. Array prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007


    1. I refuse to cook low fat
    2. I refuse to drink Light Beer (bleh)
    3. I refuse to drink overly fruity drinks or wine coolers. Though I will drink Margarita's and Daiquiri's
    4. I pretend to have a clue of what I'm talking about.

  3. #3


    I'm not a Merlot fan, though I like a big Zinfandel when I can get it.

    Oh, and occasionally I like to talk as though I know about wine when really I don't. Although the above is still true.

  4. #4
    ish red no longer *sad* Array nightning's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    I pretend to know nothing, which makes people think I'm knowledgeable but modest... when in reality I really know close to nothing.

  5. #5
    No me digas, che! Array Recoleta's Avatar
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    Aug 2007


    When I wash my clothes I don't like to mix my clothes with my brothers' clothes because I feel like my brothers are gross and much dirtier than I am.

    I work at a higher-quality Italian restaurant and I have to fake my "wine knowledge" all the time...oops! Basically, red wine with red meats and white wines with fish...beyond that...???????

    Generic-brand macaroni and cheese will not cut must be Kraft Mac & Cheese!

    I'm not gonna lie, I love that I can now say I am working on my Master's Degree.

  6. #6


    I never thought I'd see someoene's love of Kraft Mac & Cheese be described as "pretentious"!

    I can get pretentious about other people's choice of beer or choice of music.

  7. #7
    Protocol Droid Array Athenian200's Avatar
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    Jul 2007


    I'm fine. How are you, Honest?

    1. I don't like to purchase Microsoft products anymore, even though I've used them in the past.

    2. I feel a little irritated when I see people using words in the wrong tenses, with the wrong definition, misspelling them, mispronouncing them, or even making punctuational errors. But I use a spell checker on my computer rather than looking up all the words in the dictionary like I should.

    3. Sometimes I like to wear formal clothing for a school presentation even though it's not required, just to upstage everyone else.

  8. #8
    filling some space Array UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    2. I feel a little irritated when I see people using words in the wrong tenses, with the wrong definition, misspelling them, mispronouncing them, or even making punctuational errors.
    You've never once corrected my grammar/spelling I feel so neglected and forgotten.

  9. #9
    only bites when provoked Array
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    Along some of the above lines:
    1) I have never consumed beer. I refuse to and dismiss it as a low-brow drink.
    2) The only wine I drink anymore is a specific year of certified-organic Chardonnay from a specific vineyard in Northern California.
    3) When I drank others, I wouldn't drink Italian ones. Only California, French, and the occasional Aussie.
    4) I don't generally like juice cocktails and pay more to avoid them. For instance, I won't drink purple grape cocktails; only 100% straight-up red grape juice. As such, I generally only drink orange, apple, pomegranate, and red grape because most everything else is mixed (even though it's often mixed with apple).
    5) When mentioning amounts of money to other people, I generally shrug it off as nothing, even if it's a lot. "Oh, it was just X." (Replace X with some large amount of money...500, 2000, 5000, 10000, etc.)
    6) I will pick on their lack of logic in spite of my lacks of logic.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  10. #10
    homo-loving sonovagun Array anii's Avatar
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    Jul 2007


    - I'm an indy music snob.
    - I scoff at tabloids in the checkout line.
    - I refuse to shop at Walmart.
    - I deny being pretentious... that's pretentious, right?

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