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  1. #11
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    I'm guilty enough of #2 that it compensates for all of the others. #4 I'm also probably guilty.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  2. #12
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    There seems to be fair usage of Fe here, you just aren't using it in the "I'm a good little social bee" manner that tends to be the stereotype...
    RE Good Little Social Bee:

    I was talking to my INFJ friend/coworker about respecting people's privacy. Over the last year I've had a shift in how much I inquire about/into people because of some very invasive questions I've had about my mother's health and absences from work.

    Some people I don't mind answering because I think they are doing it out of genuine concern and not sheer nosiness. I've become quite anti this particular social convention because IME, most people don't really care they're just asking to be nice. I know this because I notice what they do with the information and how it affects their actions towards me. Too lazy to go into detail right now, but there are more specific things that occur.

    I think that by most of my coworker's standards I may seem standoffish about how much poking around I do towards them. My newer coworkers (worked with 2 years or less) I know superficially and have little desire to find more about and change the subject when things are getting personal because I don't want to know. It's some crazy way of keeping boundaries in place. My older coworkers (worked with 2 years +) I met in a different period of my life when I felt inquiring deeply into their lives was a sign of my goodwill and congeniality. It's some cognitive dissonance to think that I show that I'm interested by inquiring but also by inquiring I'm also being "nice."

    I now feel that I am more respectful to my coworkers by not asking "Why were you out yesterday?" to allow them their privacy and not having to reveal things they may be uncomfortable revealing. Recently, a director in my division (not my supervisor) asked me why I was out a couple of days last week and my mouth got snappy and I said I was getting genital warts treated and then I instantly felt bad because I was mad she asked and just lashed out. The satisfaction of her dumbface defies description...she just stammered and started laughing when I immediately broke a smile. She will never ask me that again! I think I'm on the RIF list because she's been patently ignoring me yesterday and today. Actually, I think I'm trying to get myself RIF'ed but that's another story.

    RE caring about people:

    I care about immediate people (friends and family) and then populations. I'm not sure if I'm about to make any sense, but I feel like my "caring about others" is scaled and it's a very general caring not aimed at any one person, but a group of people. So it's "poor people" that I care about not "a poor person" or "people with AIDS/HIV" or a Tsunami victim, not an individual per se unless that individual is within my immediate circle or comes onto my radar for whatever reason. Maybe that would be more Fi, IDK?

    So is this what you all mean when you say you are indifferent to most others? Do you not feel that generalized caring?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #13
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    My INTP husband has very little Fe (even less Fi as far as I can tell).

    I had to laugh when PM was talking about asking intrusive questions, because my husband will come home with the news that someone from work had a baby. Me - what sex? He - I don't know. Me - what's the baby's name? He - I don't know. Or someone got married: Me - where was the wedding? He - I don't know. Me - where was the honeymoon? He - I don't know. He takes in the information that's offered, but doesn't follow up. The rest isn't important to him. Sometimes I wonder what his coworkers think about his lack of interest in their lives.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  4. #14
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    RE caring about people:

    I care about immediate people (friends and family) and then populations. I'm not sure if I'm about to make any sense, but I feel like my "caring about others" is scaled and it's a very general caring not aimed at any one person, but a group of people. So it's "poor people" that I care about not "a poor person" or "people with AIDS/HIV" or a Tsunami victim, not an individual per se unless that individual is within my immediate circle or comes onto my radar for whatever reason. Maybe that would be more Fi, IDK?

    So is this what you all mean when you say you are indifferent to most others? Do you not feel that generalized caring?
    My view of "people" in a general sense is very utilitarian. I find their lives to be very secondary to their use, function, or what they can offer and sometimes I can forget they're people all together. I have to continually remind myself that in order to get any kind of utilitarian use out of people, sometimes you have to pay attention to their lives.

    For example, you have to actually call your friends from time to time if you want them to still hang out with you, and you have to show interest in their personal lives if you still want to be part of them, in order to receive the benefits of being important to that person.

    Because I'm a person who doesn't care much about those things for myself, I can overlook them in people I consider close to me.



  5. #15
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Sign #271: Iron deficiency.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #16
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Sign #271: Iron deficiency.
    haha, that's probably the biggest one right there.
    -stellar renegade
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  7. #17
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    [YOUTUBE="qv9VKKXwVxU"]Signs you have lousy Fe[/YOUTUBE]
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  8. #18
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    I'm guilty of the first part of #2, and #3 & #4. Not on purpose though. Whenever people get hurt/offended by me, I become a broken record: "Hey... there's a difference between intending to hurt someone with a comment and not intending to. I never -intend- to."

    That usually gets me no where. I just get irritated when I accidentally say something that hurts someone unintentionally, and they throw something back INTENDING to hurt me. Jeez. Sensitive people.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  9. #19
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    So is this what you all mean when you say you are indifferent to most others? Do you not feel that generalized caring?
    I don't really have the group thing. I might be able to care about people as population, but it's usually because an individual that I care for has made me aware of a greater issue.

  10. #20
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    My view of "people" in a general sense is very utilitarian. I find their lives to be very secondary to their use, function, or what they can offer and sometimes I can forget they're people all together. I have to continually remind myself that in order to get any kind of utilitarian use out of people, sometimes you have to pay attention to their lives.

    For example, you have to actually call your friends from time to time if you want them to still hang out with you, and you have to show interest in their personal lives if you still want to be part of them, in order to receive the benefits of being important to that person.

    Because I'm a person who doesn't care much about those things for myself, I can overlook them in people I consider close to me.
    +1 to all of it.

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