If you were God, (insert blank)
If I were God, Chianti would sprout forth from fountains instead of water, Personal Pan Pizzas would be imperative to human nutrition, and the Titans and Olympians would have to resolve their differences, lest they all end up like Sisyphus. Or perhaps this better fits under, "If I were the principle..."
And if you were God?
Edit: Would it have been better to start this in the fluff zone?