User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 41

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    880

    Default

    The OP shows you can't have the best of both worlds. Each type equates to a strategy to deal with life. When in a type role we realize what we lose and win compared to our actual type.

  2. #12
    Senior Member chatoyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    eNfP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/sp
    Posts
    122

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    The OP shows you can't have the best of both worlds. Each type equates to a strategy to deal with life. When in a type role we realize what we lose and win compared to our actual type.
    Oh absolutely, I see the conflict in me, in relating to both the avoider & the avoidee. I understand the desire to avoid occasionally, but I do not like the perception of being the avoided. I'm an NF and a woman, can't be pleased!

    I wasn't trying to justify my position, I saw the conflict & thought it was interesting.

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    880

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    Oh absolutely, I see the conflict in me, in relating to both the avoider & the avoidee. I understand the desire to avoid occasionally, but I do not like the perception of being the avoided. I'm an NF and a woman, can't be pleased!

    I wasn't trying to justify my position, I saw the conflict & thought it was interesting.
    What solutions have you thought out to deal with this conflict?

  4. #14
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    3,466

    Default

    A question for the ENFPs in this thread. Eventhough you don't like randomly seeing people that you don't know that well, do you still act like you are happy to see them (if they also see you and you feel compelled to talk with them)?
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  5. #15
    Senior Member chatoyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    eNfP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/sp
    Posts
    122

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    What solutions have you thought out to deal with this conflict?
    Does it need to be resolved? It can't be, because I cannot control others' perceptions of me, so I just chalk it up to my hypersensitivity, & try to understand the avoider's position.

    Now, if it really bothered me, & I was aware this was happening a lot, I would look at my own behavior, am I trapping people & talking to them without escape? Do people seem relieved when we end the conversation in such a situation? Etc.....but that's not my problem, I'm pretty confident that I do adjust to the situation & cues I read nonverbally, & I often do a quick Hi, & handle it well.

  6. #16
    Senior Member chatoyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    eNfP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/sp
    Posts
    122

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    A question for the ENFPs in this thread. Eventhough you don't like randomly seeing people that you don't know that well, do you still act like you are happy to see them (if they also see you and you feel compelled to talk with them)?
    No, I can't really relate to vortex's position, it's usually completely natural for me to say hi to friends, acquaintances. It's rare that I avoid, & usually due to time pressure, or not feeling well, or being uncharacteristically down. Even then, I'll try not to take out my mood on other people.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    WOLF
    Posts
    277

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    A question for the ENFPs in this thread. Eventhough you don't like randomly seeing people that you don't know that well, do you still act like you are happy to see them (if they also see you and you feel compelled to talk with them)?

    This is a tricky question. I do seem happy to see them, but at the same time I shift my mood so I also am happy to see them. This might sound extremely weird. Bottomline is: I don't want to be absolutely fake in my encounters with other people, so I pull all mental resources to shift my world around, so I will be genuinely pleased to see them. If it is someone I know and don't particularly like, I'll just be polite. Very, very polite and distant and hope that person goes away before I'll have to make up an excuse to get away myself.

    This is all under the assumption that we're talking random encounters on the street, in the supermarket and while alone. If I'm with someone else or at a social function I'll already be in 'people person' mode (those who know me might notice that I'm really quiet and out of place the first few minutes after arriving at a social function, where I'm still in 'transition mode', recharging my batteries).

  8. #18
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1,126

    Default

    I am an INFJ but I have of good dose of E although my I is dominant.

    I feel that I stay away from extroverts who want to give me work,lol. Extroverts that I feel just want me to be a pawn in their plans and passions and "do their bidding" I avoid the most. Extroverts that want me to be like them and feel like they need to help and correct my "introverted" self and want everyone to be just like each other at the complete expense of individuality I avoid. I guess in a sense extroverts that make me feel like an anonomous number- or a project to meet "stauts quo" and not an appreciated individual person.

    I actually had a conversation like this-

    Me-I don't think I'd be good at that and am not interested because I am an introvert and I don't feel comfortable confronting people and asking them to do something.

    Lady- Oh you're an introvert- well we can help FIX you out of that. She said this in a very patronizing and demeaning tone of voice, as if being an introvert was a shameful disease to be cured.

    I hate to work with people and do group projects-I don't like to tell people to do something and I don't like to be told what to do and I cannot create or be creative with other people and acting I know seems weird to not be added with that but it is the exception.

    Other then that I rather like extroverts just fine and probably avoid more introverts then I do extroverts. It is weird- most introverts find me too energetic and intense and most extroverts find me too boring-I want to reflect and introspect with people and a lot of extroverts are very uncomfortable with this and I am too low key for them. Too flighty or bubbly for introverts and too deep for extroverts.
    I am in a weird "moderate" zone.

    I used to have horrible social anxiety and would often have to escape to the women's bathroom at church and just sit there and end up staying there through the whole church service because just being around people was too stressful as an example.

    I find that I am more extroverted when I have one true blue friend with me- then I can appear extrovertedly fearless and be bold- I feel like I can do anything- but alone I am quite easily intimidated and can be rather shy.

    Even on these forums having my husband on here makes me feel more comfortable and free with words,lol. I need to know someone completely accepts me I think- then I can be more outgoing.
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  9. #19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    Ok, I am a scary extrovert, but once in awhile, I get in work mode, where I'm under time pressure or just in a mood that is less social, & I will avoid people I know, friends or acquaintances, that I see in a public place. I will go to great lengths to avoid the person if necessary, maybe feel a bit guilty about it.

    One of these times I had an epiphany, "this is what it's like to be an introvert" or at least an IT-type, oh ok, I get it.

    But then I saw myself as the avoided person.......& it bothered me to be perceived that way. I'm that annoying person the IT is trying to avoid, & even if you say "it's not personal", I'm lumped in with all those other people (which hurts my NF identity), & even if I've had those times where I'm avoiding other people, it's so occasional, that it doesn't affect my overall perception of them.

    Discuss! Anyone relate on the extrovert side? How about the introverts, how do you view those people?
    To me, the most common and most unfortunate misconception about INTxs is that they don't like the people they're avoiding, or that we are avoiding them specifically. We're not avoiding our friend Joe because he is Joe, we're avoiding him because he is a person and we don't want to interact. We like Joe! We just don't want to talk to anyone. It's like refusing a slice of your grandmother's pie because you are full from dinner. You're not offering an opinion on the pie, you just don't have any more room for food.

  10. #20
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    I don't usually avoid people I know (and don't dislike) in public unless I'm feeling very introverted. I may not initiate a conversation if they don't and sometimes I seem to will myself invisible in plain sight. Or maybe they are pretending not to see me, too. Everybody's happy, then.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

Similar Threads

  1. Eating in public
    By Tigerlily in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 108
    Last Post: 10-05-2013, 02:52 PM
  2. [INTP] Big "INTP" sign in a public place
    By alakazam in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 05-09-2010, 12:45 AM
  3. [INTJ] INTJs in public places
    By Kalach in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 04-06-2009, 10:29 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO